You are angry and then you decide, “I will not be angry again.” The part that was angry has not decided this. This is another part, and they both may not meet at any time in your life. The second part which says, “Now I decide not to be angry,” is not the part which was angry. There is no meeting. The part which was angry will again be angry tomorrow, and when that part is angry you will forget completely what you had decided. Again you will repent. The other part has come up again – and this goes on.
Gurdjieff used to say that we are like a house, the master of which is either asleep or has gone somewhere else. For years together the house has not known its master. There are many servants. The servants have forgotten completely that there was ever any master; either he is asleep or he has gone away. For years together the servants have lived in the house without the master.
Someone passes by the house; some servant is outside and he asks the servant, “Who is the master?”
The servant says, “I am the master.”
Another day, the same man passes by the house and finds someone else there. He asks, “Who is the master?”
The second servant says, “I am the master.”
Every servant claims that he is the master, and nothing can be decided because the master is asleep or has gone somewhere else. These servant-masters can decide something, but they cannot complete it. They can promise something, but they cannot fulfill it. They are not the masters at all.
his is the situation of the ego. It cannot will. So the second path is to create a will. If you create a will, then the ego will disappear – because only the Self can will. So if you begin to will, if you insist on willing, then by and by you will go in. The ego cannot will; and if you insist on willing, the ego will disappear.
Surrender is one basic path – the path of the bhaktas. Tap, will, is the second basic path – the path of the warriors, fighters. Each path has many techniques, but this is the essential thing.
Gurdjieff used the second path – the path of will. He called it crystallization. He said, “If you will, then by and by you will crystallize into your center.” The ego cannot exist with a willing consciousness – it cannot exist. So Gurdjieff used very deep methods for inner integration. He would say, for example, “Don’t sleep for seven days. Whatsoever happens, don’t sleep.” You can remain without food for seven days, it is not so difficult. But to be without sleep for seven days is very difficult. To be without food for seven days is not so difficult; a man can be alive without food for at least ninety days without any danger. But with sleep it is difficult.