In the ultimate reality, men and women are one. There, the ray becomes white. But in existence, in the manifest, in their expression they are different. This difference is very beautiful. There is no need to eliminate the difference; it should be enhanced! The differences are not to be destroyed but the unity hidden within them has to be seen. When you start seeing the same note in men and women without destroying their differences, only then do you have eyes.
A veena player plucks the strings of his veena and many notes arise. The fingers are the same, the strings are the same, and with only a little variation in the finger movements many sounds are born. It is fortunate that these many notes happen, otherwise there would be no way for there to be music. If there were only one note it would be very unmusical, it would create great boredom.
The world is beautiful because of this oneness and harmony in diversity. The musician is one, the musical instrument is one; the same strings create the sound, the same fingers touch the strings – but there are so many different tones that can arise.
Man is one of these tones, woman is a different tone; not only are they different, but I say they are opposites. This is why there is such an attraction between them. They are different from each other, hence there is the intense longing to know each other, to uncover, to explore the mystery of each other.
I have spoken on Kabir, I have spoken on Farid, I have spoken on Nanak, on Buddha, on Mahavira and on hundreds of other enlightened men. It has been a little monotonous. Today I introduce the other tone. The first tone has now prepared you to understand this second tone…because in the first a rare phenomenon takes place: whenever a man reaches to the last rung of enlightenment he becomes like a woman, he becomes feminine. This is what Dadu has said: “The lover has become the beloved.” The man who was the lover has now become the beloved. And Farid, another mystic, writes to himself, “Sister, if there is only the thirst for that true one left in you then the lover is not very far away.”
If you understand Buddha’s life you will see a femininity that is rarely found. Only in some highly-evolved women will you see the same delicate grace and tender feelings. You can call it compassion, but if you look deeply you will find that this compassion – which in Mahavira you will find as non-violence – is the shadow of the new, of a woman being born within Buddha. Whenever a man becomes enlightened you will suddenly find a very feminine sweetness descending on him.
All the qualities which Farid has talked about – patience, modesty and so on – are feminine qualities. Modesty is a feminine quality; it is very delicate. Patience and endurance are female qualities. The man has no patience. The man is very impatient, always in a hurry. If men had to raise the children they would not survive in the world; men don’t have that much patience. If men had to carry a child in the womb there would be abortion after abortion in the world; no man would agree to carry a child in the womb. Who can wait for nine months? The man is in a hurry, he is speedy, he is very conscious of time. The woman lives in infinity, the man lives in time.