Once you know the convenience and comfort of being lonely and secluded, out of the society, the mind tends to remain in it. It is not like life, it is more like vegetating. So, as you are doing so well now, don’t disturb it. Just continue here and leave it to me. If I feel that you have earned it I will send you. And everything is good.
I’m worried about going home. I’m worrying whether I could have been the right one to work in the ministry. I’m starting to like it here.
I am sending you back. I am sending you back because something is going to happen there. Something has happened, but the situation was so new, it was easy. I would like to try it in the old situation back home. So you simply go as a new man. You are new.
You simply go as a new man. You start doing the work and everything as a new man. Let the situation be as the old – you be the new. So in the contrast you will feel for yourself what has happened.
It is a constant observation that when people are here they attain much, but not until they go home do they become aware that they have gained a tremendous experience. It is the contrast. There is the temptation to fall back into the old trap. That too helps one to become aware.
So you have to go back. Next time you come, then we will see. If you want to be here, you be here. So that is your meditation now, back home: that you feel new, that you be new, and that you don’t get into the old pattern. People will try to force you into the old pattern. Your family, your friends, office people – they will all try. You just have to remember that you don’t have any problem.
It sometimes happens that a person is brought to me and they say he is mad. He meditates and he is perfectly okay; nothing is wrong. Then he goes back home and the family again expects the madness from him. Then he starts falling into the old trap again. He has to play the role.
This is one of the most significant things to understand: almost ninety percent of the people who are in madhouses are not mad. They are just playing a role because people have forced that role on them, and they accepted it. They find it comfortable and convenient, and once they accepted it, it doesn’t look good to destroy people’s expectations. This is my understanding: if you say to a hundred mad people that they are not mad, ninety can come out immediately – if they are allowed to come out, and if they are made to understand that they are just playing a game. And it is a foolish game, because they are the losers.
So you just drop all that nonsense that you had. Go with a good laugh. Whenever you go, come and see me first. And I am going to hit your head!