Two friends meet.
“Hello, Luisa, how is your great love?”
“It’s over,” she replied sadly.
“Over? How come?”
“We got married!”
Two friends were talking.
“I’ve placed an advertisement in the newspaper, looking for a wife,” says one.
“Did lots of women write back?” asks the other.
“Just a few women…but lots of husbands!”
The wife left home for the fifth time and the husband rushed to place an advertisement in the newspaper.
It read: “Do not come back and all will be forgiven.”
It was a wise old woman who, when people asked her why she never married, would answer: “Why marry? I have a dog who snores, a parrot who speaks only dirty words and a cat who stays out all night what do I need a husband for?”
The jealous husband hires a detective to find out if his wife betrays him. After a few days the detective comes back with a movie showing his wife and his best friend swimming, dancing, making love, having fun.
While watching the movie the husband keeps saying, “I can’t believe it! I can’t believe it!”
“But,” says the detective, annoyed, “I’m giving you proof of it!”
“No, it’s not that,” replies the husband, “I just can’t believe someone can have so much fun with my wife!”
In heaven everybody is quiet and silent except for Paolo who keeps saying, “What peace here! What peace here!”
Even St. Peter gets tired of him and so one day he sends him to purgatory. Even there though Paolo keeps muttering, “What peace here! What peace here!”
Everybody gets so tired that they decide to send him down to hell. But even in hell, among the flames and the devils, he keeps uttering, “What peace here! What peace here!”
So Beelzebub calls him and asks him the reason for his behavior.
“Well, Beelzebub,” replies Paolo, “you would say the same if you had lived for fifty years with my wife!”