Whatsoever you come across, the more the possibility is that somewhere, hidden deep, that is your problem.
Watch it in this way. Whenever you become angry, it is not because the others have created anger in you. It was already there; it may have been in a dormant state. The others can only provoke that which is already there. Their insults cannot create anger in you. If it is not there, insults cannot create it. Insults can only bring it out if it is there already. Anger is not created by anybody else; it is there or it is not there. And if nobody is going to create the anger, then you will start trying to find some excuse.
I have seen people angry with their shoes, throwing them in anger. I have seen people angry with the doors, slamming them in anger. What has the door done to you? What can the shoe do to you? But you cannot find human objects. Nobody has insulted you, nobody has become an excuse for you, and you are bubbling with anger. You are already on the verge of explosion – anything will do.
Everything that you come across in others is more or less a projection of your own mind. This is the basic religious attitude. If you think it is coming from the other, that is the political attitude. That’s why a politician goes on changing others: a revolution is needed – in the society, not in himself. The world has to be changed, only then can he live peacefully.
The politician can never live peacefully; it is impossible. The world is not going to be changed. It is not that easy. Your life is short, and the world has remained almost the same and it is going to remain almost the same. Only you can change, because only you can become conscious.
Consciousness is revolution. Consciousness is transformation. So become conscious within yourself.
If you find somebody else as egoistic, thank him immediately. He has helped you to become aware of your own ego. Be grateful to him and forget all about him. Now go within. Now try to find out where the cause lies – why you felt that this man is egoistic. Somewhere your own ego has been hurt.
The second question:
Every time I think I want to do something, the complete opposite happens and I feel as if I am going crazy. It feels as if I have no more power over what is happening to me.