Learn a little more awareness, be aware. The “I” will come in many forms, shapes, disguises. It can become spiritual, it can become holy, it can become saintly, godly. It can try every possible way to save itself.
When you are feeling full of energy you are not, hence great love arises. The ego poisons love; you start hugging people, trees. People have complained to me and trees too, because they may not be in the same energy space as you are. Be a little watchful.
But I know, when the energy flows one is constantly in a sharing state; one would like to share with everybody, even with trees and rocks. But when it disappears you will feel very, very empty, so empty that you would like to commit suicide. This happens only when you reach a peak of energy, and then coming back to the valley is very disturbing. People who live in the valley and never go to the peak never think of suicide.
That’s why in poor countries suicide is rare, in primitive countries absolutely nonexistent. Animals don’t commit suicide – they never go to the peak. Because they don’t know anything about the peak they never feel the ugliness, the darkness of the valley. Because they have never smelt the fragrance of the divine they can never smell the stinking existence that they are living.
So this is going to happen to every sannyasin. You will reach peaks of joy and then when you fall from the peaks the only desire will be to be finished with it all. But the fall is not happening on its own – you are the cause of it, it can be stopped. And the only way to stop it is: when you are on the peak, enjoy the peak, enjoy the sunlit peak, the pure air, the whispering of the clouds, the closeness of the stars, enjoy that; and when you fall into the valley, enjoy the darkness of the valley, the dangers of the valley – and don’t bring yourself in – both are good. In fact, the valley will allow you a little rest so that you can again be ready to go to the peak. The valley is a kind of sleep; it is needed after a day’s hard work. Tomorrow morning you will be again rejuvenated, you can again track your path towards the peak.
Enjoy both – and you can enjoy both if the “I” disappears. And if the “I” disappears – I would like to give you the real mystic statement about it – if the “I” disappears there is no peak, no valley; everything is the same. Wherever you are, godliness is flowing through you; wherever you are, you are in a state of blessedness. Wherever you are, not only are you blessed, you bless the whole existence too.
The last question:
Are all enlightened masters rascals like you? To me, your rascaliness is even more predominant than your joke-telling. Are you trying to trick us all into enlightenment.