There are many of you who don’t want to go away from Chuang Tzu immediately, because it is an experience in itself – in my absence you are still feeling my presence. So people linger on a little, laughing, dancing, or sometimes singing, or sometimes just sitting surrounded by an unknown energy, an unnamed energy…but yet somehow familiar.
It all depends on your love, on how much you love. Love destroys distance, and if love is total, it destroys distance totally. Then even when you are alone – no need for five persons – you will feel me with you.
Just today I received a letter from Emerson. Emerson is Hasya’s son; Hasya is my international secretary. I was feeling that something is bound to be strange about Emerson, because Hasya was phoning continually to many friends here, giving them the same message, that Emerson was coming, take care of him. It is perfectly okay, Hasya is a Jewish mama: although Emerson is thirty years old, for almost two weeks she has been phoning continually and not to one person…the same instructions to many different persons: “Take care. Emerson is coming.”
When I heard this – that so many people are receiving the message – I said, “What is his age?” And when I came to know that he was thirty, I said, “My God!” I used to think that Hasya must have gone beyond her Jewish mind. She has dropped all Judaism – that is one thing – but to drop being a Jewish mama…that is difficult. There are mothers and mothers in the world, but no mother comes close to the Jewish mother.
Now, a thirty year old son – and also, she is coming to take care of him in just three days. Yesterday I saw him and I felt really sorry for him and sorry for Hasya. Hasya deep down wanted him to understand me, but he was so dead, so insensitive. Today he wrote me a letter. He is in love with Kendra, one of my sannyasins. The letter was long, but the essential part was, “Osho, I hate you.” The reason for his hate is that, first, I have taken his mother. Now he is in love with Kendra, and he says, “I know perfectly well that Kendra has you as her first priority. I’m not even her second priority…her second priority is another sannyasin.” – I think he must be thinking of John – “I am the third priority: it hurts.” And he wanted me to say to Kendra that she should go with Emerson.
I have replied, that all my sannyasins live in absolute freedom. I don’t say to anybody to do something or not to do something. If Kendra wants to be here, it is her choice; if she wants to be with John, it is her choice; if she wants to go with you, that is her choice. Whatever she chooses, my blessings are with her. As far as you are concerned, I cannot say anything to you, because a man who says, “I hate you,” will not be able to understand anything. Hate is the most difficult barrier for understanding, just as love is the greatest opening for understanding.