If you live it, life is always a deep gratitude. If you don’t live it, things go sour, things become bitter: one mourns, one complains, one loses the capacity for thankfulness. Prayer disappears and then you live an angry life or a sorrowful life – that simply means that you have missed. Nobody else is responsible, only you; only you, nobody else is responsible. The responsibility is totally yours because you are free to choose – to die, or to commit a slow suicide.
As I see it, millions of people go on simply committing slow suicide. They go on poisoning themselves. Through postponing, you poison yourself. Then, even that which is given to you will have to be taken away. And Jesus is perfectly true when he says this, and it is one of the most fundamental laws of life: that if you have, more will be given to you; if you don’t have, even that which you have will be taken away. That is mourning.
Use! Be creative! Let life be a great adventure. The only sin there is, is if your life is not an adventure. Then, you are a sinner.
The third question:
The implications of sannyas are just now becoming clear to me. Your power over us becomes awesome. You can push us far beyond the limitations of our personalities, yet our personalities persist, and I find myself frightened by things I am doing which seem incongruous with my character. What can I do about this fear?
Yes, the implications of sannyas become clear only when you are a sannyasin, never before. There are many people who would like to take sannyas, who would like to be initiated on the path, but they want to know what it means before they take the jump. That is impossible; nothing can be said to them. They want to be convinced before they take the decision. No, you cannot be convinced because it is not a question of intellect, it is something to be experienced. One knows about it only by being it, and there is no other way.
So those who think that first they need an intellectual conviction will miss the opportunity available. They will miss the door. Sannyas is only for those who are courageous enough to move in the dark, to move in the unknown. Yes, the night is very dark, and the point at which you are standing is such that from there you cannot see any ray of light. In fact, you are standing with closed eyes and you say, “First, convince us intellectually that there is light. Only then will we open the eyes.” How is it possible? – because light can be known only when you open the eyes. How can you prove that light exists to a man who is standing with closed eyes, and who insists, and insists logically, “Why should I open my eyes if there is no light? Why should I make the effort? First prove to me that there is light, then I will open my eyes.” But how can you prove that there is light? The only proof is to see it. The only proof of the pudding is in eating it.
“The implications of sannyas are just now becoming clear to me.”