Sadhana is not a conflict, it is not a struggle. Sadhana is a deep understanding, a transformation, an awareness in which you start loving, accepting yourself, and getting higher and higher – through understanding. Nothing is to be excluded from your being. Everything is as it should be. It has to be used for a higher harmony, that’s all. The veena is not to be thrown. If you cannot play it, learn how to play. Nothing is wrong with the veena. If you cannot play and you do play on the veena, of course you create mad noise. The neighbors will go and report you to the police station. Your wife will immediately give you a divorce. Your children will become nervous. And you yourself will be in a mess because if you don’t know how to play a veena, how to play on a musical instrument. You will get more and more discordant in yourself.
But nothing is wrong with the veena, remember. You don’t know how to play with it.
Sex energy is a tremendous energy. You don’t know how to play with it. And you have been taught for centuries to be against it. Just look what your religious people have done to the world. They have been teaching against sex and sex becomes more and more important because of their teachings. The whole world is almost neurotically sexual. A few are indulging in it as if there is nothing else in life, and a few are escaping from it as if there is nothing else in life. A few are just escaping and a few are just fighting – both are wasting their lives.
This is some great energy, a gift of existence. Many treasures are hidden in it. It has to be learned. The book has to be opened, one has to go into it. It has to be studied deeply, understood deeply – the key of infinite life is there.
Now that you have come to me, I go on insisting for understanding. A certain intellectual understanding arises. But the old conditioning goes on and on. It is not that only in this life you have been conditioned; for centuries, for many lives, you have been conditioned. That conditioning has become almost second nature to you. The very word sex, and something gets restless within you. The very word creates a reaction inside you. It is difficult to talk about it without any passion. Difficult to talk about it objectively. Difficult to talk about it scientifically. Either this way or that you become passionately involved in it.
Drop all ideas, prejudices. Just look at the facticity of it. You are born of sex energy. Your mother and father were not praying when you were born. They were making love. And they were not in a church or in a temple. You never think about it; people avoid such things. It will be difficult for you to conceive that your father and mother were making love. Impossible. It is other people – dirty people – who make love. Your father and mother? Never. That’s why so many stories have been prevalent all over the world. A child is born, and other children ask, “From where?” You have to give them false answers – the stork, or the bush, or gods have dropped it from the kitchen chimney.
I have heard:
The mother was pregnant and the grandmother was worried about the little child because sooner or later he will ask. So she wanted to prepare him.
She took him aside and told him, “Do you know, your mother is going to be presented again with a great gift from God. It will come in a bundle and it will be dropped from the chimney hole in the night when everybody will be asleep.”