Last year in Bombay, you said that since I’ve met you there has never been a no in me. Yes, Osho, that is true. And yet, the other night, I saw my head shaking in a deep no to your words. When you said I love you too much, I felt for the first time a no in me, so total, so deep. For a moment I heard my heart singing, no, no, no – it is not too much, there is space in my being to love you much more. So I guess you were joking, or using poetic license, or a metaphor. I don’t like to say no to you, but if you dare to repeat that I love you too much I will start to laugh and say, “No, Osho, no,” again and again, “No, Osho.”
Sarjano, words like yes and no are very flexible. They are not opposites, they are two extremes of one single energy. Hence sometimes a very strange phenomenon happens. It is said about women that when they say no they mean yes – the flexibility is so great – and when you were saying no, you were meaning yes.
I can understand why the no arose in you, because love knows no limits. For those who love, even too much love is too little. You wanted to say no, because you are capable of loving more. But that capacity is infinite: At no point does love feel that it has come to a full stop – there are always possibilities, potentialities, and space available to grow more. Your no is not no, it is really a preparation for a greater yes.
So I want to say to you: Sarjano, you love me too much. And even if you say no, it does not matter. It simply means even too much is too little – and you can see that you can love more. Too much is not the end, so your no is, in a disguised form, nothing but yes. You cannot deceive me by words.
You are saying, “Last year in Bombay You said that since I have met you there has never been a no in me.” I still say so. But you are puzzled, because you feel, “Yes, Osho, that is true. And yet, the other night I saw my head shaking in a deep no to your words.” It is because your love is greater than any words can contain. But your no is not negative, it is another form of saying yes.
“When you said I love you too much, I felt for the first time a no in me, so total, so deep. For a moment I heard my heart singing, no, no, no – it is not too much….” You were not saying no to me, you were simply saying no to my statement that you love me too much.
Suddenly you became aware that you are capable of loving more – this is not too much. I agree with you: you are capable of loving more. Still, it is too much. It will become even vaster, deeper, greater; but that is not going to change my statement. And you have understood yourself, without being clearly aware of it, when you said, “It is not too much. There is space in my being to love you much more. So I guess you were joking, or using poetic license, or a metaphor.”
No, I was neither joking, nor using metaphors, nor poetic license. I was simply describing the simple fact that your love is too much for me. But for you, it may appear too little. That is the perennial experience of all lovers. The loved one feels it is too much, but the lover feels it is nothing: “I have not put my whole being into it yet.”
“I don’t like to say no to you….” You have never said no to me. Even when yesterday, the no was arising in you, it was nothing but preparing ground for a bigger yes.