He said, “It would have been better if he had harmed me! But it is very strange to live in that room. He does not speak, he just goes on looking at me, and I feel very tense, fidgety. I turn to this side and that, and he simply goes on looking at me. And just because of him I am doing stupid things, and I know that he is enjoying it! I cannot even smoke, because the moment I take a cigarette out, he simply indicates with his finger the sign, ‘Smoking Not Allowed.’ So what am I supposed to do? Just go on opening my suitcase? And I know what is there in the suitcase!
“I am unnecessarily going to the bathroom and there is no need; I am ordering the waiter to bring water or tea which I don’t need! And he goes on staring. It is even difficult to sleep because of that man! I am sleeping, but just to see what he is doing I look at him and he is still looking at me. I say, ‘My God! There is no possibility that he will let me sleep.’ You just change me.”
What was the trouble? Just to be alone is the most arduous thing. That’s why people join religions. They become Christians, Jews, Hindus, Mohammedans, Christians. They join political parties – communist, socialist, fascist, republicans, democrats. Even that does not satisfy their hunger for the crowd. They form the Lions’ Club, Rotary Club – all kinds of associations. They go to the church – not for the church, but for the crowd. They go to meetings – political, religious…. They feel at ease when they see so many people are there: they are not alone.
What is the fear of being alone? The fear is that in your aloneness is hidden the mystic roseflower…but you will have to go deep. And the deeper you go, the more alone you will be, because the world will be left far behind. Nobody can accompany you there.
A mystery school simply helps you, because somebody is ahead of you, somebody is behind you, somebody has already reached. The atmosphere of the commune, the milieu, gives you courage: “Don’t be afraid. If others are moving inwards, why not you? If they are not losing anything, then aloneness is not dangerous. In fact, they are becoming more and more radiant, more and more loving, more and more compassionate.”
Seeing so many people helps you. It creates a certain energy field which becomes your support. Of course, you have to go alone, but those who have reached can say with authority: Your inside is not empty; it is the only fullness in the whole existence. You are not hollow; you will find the greatest treasure of joy and bliss, peace and serenity, grace and gratitude, within yourself. You will find that you have always been here and you will always be here; death does not exist, life is eternal.
But your question is relevant. You are asking me, “Why don’t people understand that this is a mystery school?”
They have never understood. And down the centuries such schools have existed, but behind a facade. For example, you know about alchemists. And in the chemistry books it is said – which is absolutely nonsense – that chemistry was born out of alchemical experiments, that alchemy was the predecessor of chemistry. They don’t know what alchemy was.