It is difficult to forgive them; it is very, very difficult to respect them. But if you understand, you will forgive them. You will say the same as Jesus said on the cross: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Yes, those are exactly the words. And everybody is on the cross – and the cross is not prepared by your enemies, but by your parents, by your society…and everybody is crucified.
The head has become so dominant that it does not allow any spontaneity. It has become dictatorial. It does not allow the heart even to utter a single word, it has forced the heart to be completely quiet. You will have to listen again to the heart. You will have to start dropping logic a little. You will have to take a few risks. You will have to live dangerously. You will have to move towards the unknown, and you will have to love persons and not things. You will have to be ready not to possess anybody because the moment you possess, the person is not there. Only a thing can be possessed.
Try to understand it as deeply as possible: the moment you fall in love with somebody, immediately your whole conditioning starts trying to possess him. Resist that temptation; the devil is tempting you – the devil of the society, the devil of civilization and the church. The devil stands in a very religious garb, and the devil goes on quoting scriptures. Beware!
Whenever you start possessing you are killing love. So either you can possess the person or you can love the person – both together are not possible.
So this is the alternative: a man who wants to become a Baul, a lover, has to drop all possessiveness. Resist all temptation to being possessive because that temptation comes from the ego.
Once Mulla Nasruddin said to me, “It is remarkable sir, how congenial we are. After all, we have practically nothing in common.”
“Oh yes we have,” I replied. “We have one very important thing in common: I think you are wonderful and you agree with me.”
The ego goes on agreeing for wrong things, because the ego can exist only with the wrong. It feeds on the wrong. So whenever you feel that your ego is fulfilled, beware! – you have eaten something wrong, you have swallowed something wrong. Whenever you feel egoless, relax. Now you have eaten the right, something which is in tune with your nature.
Ego arises out of disturbance, but ego has its own logic. It goes on saying that you are important, that you are the most important man in the world, and you have to prove it. And we are all trying to do this one way or the other – somebody by possessing more money, somebody by possessing a beautiful woman, somebody by possessing prestige, power, somebody by becoming a president or a premier, somebody by becoming an artist, a poet, somebody by becoming a mahatma – but we are all trying in some way or other to prove our innermost fantasy, that we are the most important person in the world. Then you cannot be a lover.
Ambition is poison for love. A lover is not in any need to prove. In fact, he knows that he is loved, and that’s enough.