For example: you believe that you are somebody; everybody believes that he is somebody special. And you know that it is not true, that it cannot be true. Deep down you realize the fact that nobody is somebody. Nobody is nobody! That somebodiness, the ego, is a false entity, a fiction. You cling to it knowing well it is not there. Still you hope against hope, you go on pretending, you go on trying to support a false entity – by money, prestige, power, knowledge, austerities. You go on trying to prove that you are somebody. You go on proving that you are the center of the whole world, and you know well that this is not true. How can you be the center of the world? The world was there when you were not, and the world will be there when you will not be there. You are just a wave, and waves come and go. Only ocean exists.
You don’t have any center. You can’t have because the center belongs to the whole. A part cannot have a center. Can my hand have a center of its own? If my hand has a center of its own, then it is no longer a part of me – it exists independently. Can my leg have a center of its own? Then it is no longer a part of me. Then when I say I would like to go for a walk, he may not like to – he has a center of his own – and he will say, “No, I am not willing. At least not at this time. You will have to wait.” And I am hungry and I would like to eat, but my hand says, “No, I am feeling sleepy and I won’t move.” No – when you feel hunger, the hand moves. Even without any order, without any specific order being given to it, the hand moves. When you want to go for a walk, the legs simply move. You don’t order them, they simply follow. They are parts, they don’t exist separately – they exist in an organic unity.
Man exists as a part of the whole, an organic part. You cannot have a center of your own; if you think you can, you are misguided. Only God has the center. Only the center of the whole can say ‘I’. When you say ‘I’, and if you believe in it also, then you are deluded. If you use it only as a linguistic device then it is okay. But if you feel that you have an ‘I’ within you then you are living in an illusion – knowing it well, because how can you avoid knowing the truth? There are many moments when you suddenly become aware that you are just a part of the whole, a wave, but you go on postponing this realization, you go on postponing the recognition of the fact and you go on pretending. This pretension is the barrier.
You know well that you have not loved anybody, neither your father nor your mother, nor your wife nor your husband, children, friends – no, you have not loved anybody. You know it well, but still you avoid it. And you go on thinking that you love, and you go on thinking that you are a great lover. If you were a great lover you would have already attained. Even if you had loved a single person totally, God would have been unveiled already, the truth in its total nakedness would have been realized – because love is death of all pretensions.
When you love a person you cannot pretend anything which is not true. When you love a person you become completely naked, you reveal yourself – all pretensions drop in the moment of love – and suddenly you realize that whatsoever you have been thinking you are, you are not. Something else arises – an organic unity with the whole. The self disappears and the no-self appears. You are, but now not separate; not a stranger, but a part of the whole. And not simply a part because a part can be a mechanical part – an organic part of the whole.