The first question:
What am I to do with the Jesus I thought I knew and loved for so long?
The question is from Chintana. She has been a nun. She has suffered enough by being a nun, and suffered for sins she has never committed.
To be a nun is a kind of masochism, a kind of self-torture inflicted upon oneself in the name of Jesus, in the name of Buddha – only the names differ, the torture is the same. And when you are torturing yourself, your relationship with Jesus or Buddha or Mahavira is going to be pathological.
Relationship is healthy only when there is joy, when there is celebration, when there is full acceptance of life and all that it brings.
When there is denial, rejection, and you are cutting your vital parts, and you are destroying yourself, the relationship is not really a relationship. You are in love with your misery, and you call your misery Jesus. Never be in love with your misery. If you are in love with your misery, then wherever you are you will be in hell. To be healthy means to be in love with joy. Even if sometimes misery happens, it is unnatural. It has to be lived, but it is accidental, it is not natural. Joy is natural.
Around Christ all kinds of pathological people have gathered together down the ages. In fact they are not in love with Jesus, they are in love with the cross. That’s why I call Christianity “crossianity.” It has nothing to do with Christ – Christ is just a symbol – the real thing is the cross, the death, the suffering that Jesus went through. You are in love with that. But mind is very cunning; it can always rationalize its prejudices. It can always find arguments, reasons to support its own prejudices.
Now, about poor Chintana…. I feel sorry for her, and she is in a kind of turmoil here. It is bound to be so. Here, the whole message is “Alleluia”; the whole message is of ecstasy, love, joy; celebration is the key word here. And for many years she has been a nun, so her whole past is against the present. But if she goes on thinking that she has been in love with Jesus, then it will be very difficult for her to drop her misery, because how to drop Jesus? And Jesus is so beautiful, how can one gather courage to drop Jesus?
There is no need either. I am bringing you a healthy Jesus. I am bringing you the real Jesus.