Don’t be bothered about the clouds. Don’t be bothered about thoughts. Become awareness. In awareness, you are not put together. Suddenly, you realize that you have always been together. That Humpty Dumptyness was only on the periphery. Inside, the deepest core – the kernel of your being – has always been one. It has never been otherwise, but you are unaware of it.
When you come to me, I am not here to put you together. In fact, if you come to me feeling that you are together, I will push you: push you hard, to the brink of the wall, so you have a great fall. Once scattered, there is a possibility. Once scattered, you can transcend. You can watch what has happened.
The real, innermost core is one. That’s what we call atman, the supreme self. That’s what we call Christ. Jesus is Humpty Dumpty, Christ is the center. Gautama Siddhartha is the Humpty Dumpty, Buddha is the innermost center. Vardhaman is Humpty Dumpty, Mahavira is the center.
The second question:
I feel empty, and a deep yearning, and there seems no way to let go.
Remain with it. There are two types of emptiness. One: negative emptiness, another: positive emptiness.
Negative emptiness is a loneliness. You miss the presence of something or somebody. You are not enjoying the purity of aloneness. You are missing…. The wife has died and now you feel empty because her presence was a sort of filling, her presence was giving you a feeling of fullness. Now she is dead. Now you feel empty, you miss her. This emptiness is negative.
Then there is a positive emptiness. Positive emptiness does not miss the absence of somebody else. On the contrary, it cherishes, relishes, the presence of oneself. When you are sitting alone, just enjoying yourself, just delighting in being, you are empty – but this emptiness is positive.
The negative emptiness is of the devil and the positive emptiness is of God. Both are empty, but there is a tremendous difference in quality. One has to move towards the positive emptiness, and this is what is happening.
“I feel empty, and a deep yearning, and there seems no way to let go.” There is no need. Just allow this emptiness. Don’t try to change it. That’s how the mind enters again from the back door.
The Humpty Dumpty has gone out. Now, remain with this emptiness. Relish it! It is beautiful, there is nothing like it. It is innocence, it is silence, it is stillness, it is virginity. But when the Humpty Dumpty goes out for the first time, you have never known this positive emptiness, you have always known the negative emptiness. You misinterpret. You think this too is empty: the same negative emptiness. You want to come out of it. There is no need. Relax in it. Be it, allow it, and don’t try in any way to change it or modify it.