You love a woman, a dream is created – but how long can you dream? By the time the honeymoon is finished the dream is gone – even before. Then what will you do? Then you will pretend, because now you are a slave of your own promises.
You will pretend that you still love, you will pretend that, “You are still beautiful,” you will pretend that, “There exists no person like you.” But now everything is a pretension. And when you pretend and the dream is broken, and you still carry the dream, it becomes a burden, nightmarish. That’s why you live in such suffering.
The suffering is nothing but broken dreams, broken rainbows, broken illusions, appearances. And you have so much invested in them you cannot look at the truth: that from the very beginning they were dreams.
Rather than looking at the truth you will throw the responsibility on the other. You will say, “This wife has deceived me. She was not as good as she appeared. She deceived me, she didn’t reveal her true reality.” And you will not see that that is not the point at all. You were creating a dream around her, and because of that dream you couldn’t see the reality. She was also creating a dream around you.
So whenever two persons fall in love there are not two persons, there are four: one the lover, another the beloved, and between these two, the beloved that is a creation of the mind of the lover, and the lover that is a creation of the mind of the beloved. These two are dreams, and these two go on moving in you.
Sooner or later, when the dream is broken, you are two, not four. Whenever you are two there will be difficulty. Then you would like to throw the responsibility on the other: “It is because of the other.” You have missed the point again. That means you will create the same dream around another woman because you will think, “This woman is not going to deceive me, and now I am also more clever.”
But mind is never clever. The essence of mind is foolishness, so mind can never be clever. It can be cunning, cunning in its foolishness, but it can never be wise. That is not its nature, because wisdom happens only when dreaming leaves. So if dreaming is the basic reality of the mind, then it can never be wise.
A Buddha is wise because now there is no mind. A Sosan is wise because now he lives in no-mind, now all dreams have stopped. He looks at things as they are. You never look at things as they are; you mix with your illusions. And you are so afraid to look straight because you know, unconsciously, deep down somewhere you know, that things are not as you look at them.
But you think if you look at the reality of things it will be too much, too heavy – you may not be able to stand it. You mix it with dreams just to make it a little sweeter. You think it is bitter so you coat it with sugar. You coat a person in dreams and you feel the person has become sweet? No, you are simply deceiving yourself, nobody else. Hence, so much misery.