It is good that you are feeling an outsider because God is no longer filling the space and you are feeling disconnected with the universe. It is good. It only means false connections have been removed.
It happened one day…
Mulla Nasruddin was sitting in his office waiting for some customers. A man came in, and Mulla Nasruddin started talking to him about the things he was selling. And in the middle of this, he did not give the man a chance to say anything, he just waved his hand, “Sit down!” and picked up the telephone and started talking about millions. “Yes, take it! One million dollars, that’s okay.”
At that moment the man could not resist the temptation. He said, “Wait a minute! I have come from the telephone company to connect the telephone.”
The telephone was not connected. That one million dollar purchase was just show business!
You are feeling disconnected because your connections were false. In fact, there were no connections, and you were talking to God – on the phone, direct line!
I have suddenly made you aware that your telephone is not connected. To whom are you talking? All your prayers are before a telephone that is not connected. The only way to be connected with existence is to go inwards, because there, at the center, you are still connected.
You have been disconnected physically from your mother. That disconnection was absolutely necessary to make you an individual in your own right. But you are not disconnected with the universe. Your connection with the universe is of consciousness, so you cannot see it; you have to go deep down with great awareness, watchfulness, witnessing, and you will find the connection.
The buddha is the connection.
The second question:
Is monotheism a necessary step in human evolution, or is it just an invention of the priests?
Monotheism is a far more dangerous device of the priests than polytheism. In a monotheistic religion there is no possibility for a buddha to be born. It is not part of evolution, it is part of preventing your evolution.
All the religions born out of India – Judaism, Christianity, Mohammedanism – are monotheistic. Mohammed gives it perfect definition: one God, one prophet, one holy Koran. This is a very dictatorial type of religion, naturally dangerous because it is very intolerant. The Jewish God himself says, “I am a very intolerant god. I am very jealous. I will not allow you to worship any other god.”