Sex is not something of which you have only a certain quantity in you. It is produced every day, so if you express it sexually, it does not mean that you don’t have any more energy left, so how will you transform it? Sexual energy is created every day. It is not a reservoir, not a bank, that if you take out something, that much is less. It is created every day by your living, by your movements, by your food, by your breathing, by the circulation of the blood – by your very life. It is a by-product of life. But if you start stopping it forcibly, you will be doing a harmful act to yourself.
First, if you forcibly repress sex, your mind will continuously think of sex – sex and nothing else, because the energy that has been repressed is going to revolve in your mind.
Let me remind you that your sexual center is in your mind; genitals are just the extension of a center which is in the head. That’s why you can dream about sex, you can fantasize about sex – and each fantasy will immediately affect your genital organs. You are thinking, it is in the head. The genitals are the extension of a subtle center in your head, so when you repress the energy, your head becomes full of it. Your sex becomes cerebral, mental, so you think about it, you dream about it. And this is an ugly state.
One man reached to a psychoanalyst’s office and said, “Help me; otherwise I will die.”
The psychoanalyst said, “You look perfectly healthy and young. Why should you die? What is the problem?”
He said, “The problem is, I continuously think of sex.”
The psychoanalyst said, “It is not a big problem, everybody thinks of sex.”
He said, “You don’t understand….”
So the psychoanalyst said, “I will try and understand.” He drew a line of the paper and asked him, “What is it? What does it remind you of?”
He said, “Don’t joke with me! It reminds me of sex.” A line? – even the psychoanalyst was a little shocked that a line reminded him of sex. And the man said, “I have read all the psychological books – this is a phallic symbol.” And he was right, because that’s what Freud’s analysis says it is, it is a phallic symbol.
So he drew another figure, a triangle. The man closed his eyes, he said, “Don’t! I don’t want to think about that.”
The psychoanalyst said, “It is just a triangle!”
He said, “It may be triangle, but think of Sigmund Freud and you will understand what I am saying. This is my trouble.”
The psychoanalyst said, “Okay.” He drew a third figure – a circle. And the man jumped up from the chair. He said, “Stop! Stop! I am not a homosexual! And I have never seen such a pornographic psychoanalyst – you do nothing but make pornography!”
And just then from the window they saw a camel passing by, and the psychoanalyst said, “Forget about that. Look outside. What does that camel remind you of?”
He said, “The camel? It is the most dangerous animal; I don’t want to have anything to do with camels! Anything to do with the camel, forget all about it.”
The psychoanalyst said, “But this is strange.”