She said, “Have you heard what you were expecting? You were not expecting this, but this is his very quality, the unexpected. So don’t be shocked or feel insulted. If you feel shocked or insulted he will do more on the same lines. Just do what I say: fix up a private tutor for him.”

My poor father – poor because everybody laughed at him – said, “I wanted to agree with you, but I was afraid of everybody else in the family, even of your daughter, my wife. I was afraid that they would all jump upon me. You are right, he needs some basic training. And the real problem is not whether he needs it or not; the real problem is, can we find a tutor who will be ready to teach him? We are ready to pay; you find him a tutor.”

She had somebody in mind. She had already asked me what I felt about the man. I said, “The man looks good, just a little henpecked.”

She said, “That is not your business. Why should a child be worried about that? He is a good teacher. He has been given the governor’s certificate as the best teacher of the province. You can depend on him.”

I said, “He depends on his wife; his wife depends on his servant; his servant is just a fool, and I have to depend on him? A great chain! But the man is good; just don’t ask me to depend on him, instead ask that I should remain available to him. That’s enough for teaching – why dependence? He is not my boss. In fact, I am his boss.”

She said, “Look, if you say this to him he will leave immediately.”

I said, “You don’t know anything about him. I know him. Even if I actually hit him on the head, he will not go anywhere because I know who has his ears in their hands.”

In India, donkeys are caught by their ears. Of course they have long ears, that is the easiest thing to hold to catch them. “He is a donkey. He may be educated, but I know his wife, and she is a real woman. She has many donkeys under her like him. If he creates any trouble I will take care of him, don’t be worried. And remember the monthly payment that you have to make to him has to go via me to his wife.”

She said, “I know you! Now I understand the whole logic of it.”

I said, “Then go ahead.”

I called the man. He was really henpecked – not just so-so, but multidimensionally. When I brought him to my Nani, first he tried to escape. I said, “Listen, if you try in any way to escape, I’m going directly to your wife.”

He said, “What? No! Why to my wife?”

I said, “Then just keep quiet, and whatsoever salary my Nani is going to pay – because the envelope will be closed – I will deliver it to your wife. The arrangement is already made. I’m not interested in the money part, but the envelope has to reach your wife, not to you. So before escaping, think twice at least.”