I feel your presence all around me – your love and your compassion – but I myself feel unworthy of it. Who am I that I should deserve you? Just because of this, I have closed a door in front of you. My heart is suffering, but I have forgotten where the door is.
It is one of the crimes that has been committed against everybody everywhere in human society: you have been continually conditioned and told that you are unworthy. Because of this conditioning, the major part of humanity has given up even desiring any adventure, any pilgrimage to the stars; they are so convinced of their unworthiness. Their parents were telling them, “You are unworthy.” Their teachers were telling them, “You are unworthy.” Their priests were telling them, “You are unworthy.” Everybody was forcing the idea on them that they were unworthy. Naturally they accepted the idea.
And once you accept the idea of unworthiness, you naturally close. You cannot believe that you have wings, that the whole sky is yours, that you have just to open your wings and the sky is going to be yours, with all its stars.
And it is not a question that somewhere you have forgotten to open one door. You don’t have any doors; you don’t have any walls. This unworthiness is simply a concept, an idea. You have become hypnotized by the idea. Since the very beginning, all cultures, all societies have been using hypnotism to destroy individuals – their freedom, their uniqueness, their genius – because the vested interests are not in need of geniuses, not in need of unique individuals, not in need of people who love freedom. They are in need of slaves. And the only psychological way to create slaves is to condition your mind that you are unworthy, that you don’t deserve, that you don’t even deserve whatever you have, you should not go for anything more. Already you owe too much for things which you are not worthy of.
And hypnotism is a simple process of continuous repetition. Just go on repeating a certain idea and it starts settling inside you, and it becomes a thick wall, invisible; there are no doors, no windows. There is no wall either.
George Gurdjieff has remembered his childhood. He was born in the Caucasus, one of the most primitive parts of the world. It is still at the stage where humanity was when it lived by hunting; even cultivation has not started. The people of the Caucasus are great hunters. And any society that lives by hunting is bound to be a nomadic society. It cannot make houses, it cannot make cities, because it cannot depend on animals – today they are available there, tomorrow they are not available there. And certainly you will kill them, and because of your presence they will escape – either they will be killed or they will escape.
Cities are possible only with cultivation because trees cannot escape, and you have to be there to protect them, to water them, to take care of them – so you have to live in villages near your fields. The Caucasus is still nomadic. The people are on their horses, moving from one place to another place, hunting.