The new man I have been talking about will be a master of his own self. And the strangest phenomenon is that when you are the master, the mind functions far more efficiently than it functions when it is a master, because naturally it is destined to be a servant. As a servant it is perfect, but when it pretends to be the master, it cripples you. It does not know how to be the master – that’s one thing – and it does not allow the master hidden deep inside you to have any say in your life. This is one of the psychological sicknesses of mankind.
The new man will be healthy, and his health will consist of everything being in its own place. Then only can we create an orchestra, not a crowd of noises.
When you spoke about Sharda, the wife of Ramakrishna and her immense love towards him, I noticed that I felt guilty and sad. It seems that I cannot love a man at all. Out in the world the relationship with my boyfriend was so juicy, and seemed to be the only way to stay alive, whereas here there is a never-ending conflict. The conflict I feel is of longing to be alone, feeling totally contented within myself – yet I do not want to lose my boyfriend, out of the fear of being lonely and vulnerable. I am so puzzled. Please, would you comment?
Shantidevi, man is asleep. It has to be repeated again and again, to remind you that you are still in the middle – neither asleep nor awake. You can go either way: you can take a turn and pull the blanket over yourself and go to sleep, or you can jump out of the bed and take a cold shower and be alert and awake. But you have to understand what is meant by spiritual sleep.
You say, “When you spoke about Sharda, the wife of Ramakrishna and her immense love towards him, I noticed that I felt guilty and sad.” Why should you feel guilty and sad? You can have immense love, just like Sharda, but you have to know much more about Sharda.
She was a meditator, and after Ramakrishna died she became, without any declaration, without any announcement, naturally the head of the order that Ramakrishna had created. The disciples of Ramakrishna became disciples of Sharda. She was no ordinary woman in love with a man. Ramakrishna was not a man for her; Ramakrishna to her represented life, consciousness, and its highest flight.
Rather than feeling guilty and sad and wasting your time and energy, use the same energy for being a meditator, so love can grow out of your meditation. I teach you the real love, not the phony love that you find all over the world.
Everybody is saying to everybody else, “I love you,” but on the whole there seems to be no love in the world. People are simply like parrots, repeating the words “I love you.” They don’t know even the meaning of what they are saying.
Do you have the quality of love? Do you have that richness? Do you have that fulfillment out of which love arises?
Love does not arise in a desert.
It is a flower, it needs a garden.
Have you planted a garden in your being?