When you suppress you are not going to find the source, you are just struggling with energy that has come up and wants to be expressed. You can suppress it, but it will be expressed sooner or later because you cannot struggle forever with the energy that has come up. It has to be expressed. So you may not express it upon A, but then you will express it upon B or C. Whenever you find someone who is weaker than you, you will express the energy. And unless you express it you will feel burdened, tense, heavy and ill at ease.
So it will be expressed. You cannot suppress it continuously. From somewhere it will leak out, because if it is not going to leak out you will be constantly worried by it. So suppression is really nothing but postponing expression. You will simply postpone.
You are angry at your boss and you cannot express it; it is not economical. You will have to push it down, so you just wait until you can express it upon your wife or upon your child or somewhere – upon your servant… And the moment you reach your home you will express it. You will find causes, of course, because man is a rationalizing animal. He will rationalize; he will find something – something very trivial, but now that will become very meaningful because you have something to express.
Suppression is nothing but postponing. You can postpone for months, for years. And those who know say that you can postpone for lives also, but it will have to be expressed. This technique is not concerned at all with suppression or expression – no! This technique uses your mood, your energy, as a path for you to go deep down within yourself.
Gurdjieff used to create situations in which he would force anger upon you, or hatred, or any other mood, and that was a created phenomenon. You would not be aware of what is going to happen.
Gurdjieff is sitting with his disciples, and as you enter you are not aware of what is going to happen, but they are ready to create anger in you. They will behave in such a way… Someone will say something, and the whole group will behave so insultingly that you will become furious. Suddenly anger will come up; you are aflame. And when Gurdjieff has seen that now a point has come from where you can either go deep down or you can go out, when the peak has come within you and you are just going to explode, then he will say, “Close your eyes. Now be aware of your anger and go back.”
Only then would you realize that the situation was a created one. No one was interested in insulting you – that was just a drama, a psychodrama – but the anger has arisen. And even if you come to know that it was simply a drama, the energy cannot suddenly go down, it will take time. Now you can move down with the falling energy to the source. This energy will just help you to go down to where it has come from; you can connect now with the original source. And this is one of the most successful methods of meditation.