When Jesus, or a man like Jesus, explodes, the explosion is vast. He brings millions of suns in him; the light is tremendous and infinite. But you start thinking about yourself. You become worried about your own small luxuries, comforts, conveniences – trivia. You become afraid about these things and you start defending yourself because this man attracts your center. Mind is the periphery, being is the center – this man attracts your being. And let me tell you: when you crucify Jesus, you crucify your own being in favor of your mind. When you kill Jesus, you kill your own being in favor of your periphery. When Jews killed Jesus on that day, they decided to be in favor of the mind against their own being. Jesus was their essence. He was the very essence, the very flowering of their whole history. He was the very purpose of their whole being here. But they decided – they decided in favor of the mind, and crucified being.
Jesus is being crucified.
And this is not only an historic thing that once happened, and now you are finished with it. It is something that is happening in every moment of everybody’s life. Remember it: you are always crucifying your Jesus in favor of your mind. Stop that crucifixion. If you understand me rightly, what I am saying to you, you will stop that crucifixion.
I have heard a story: An incompetent carpenter once built a creaky house for himself, and maintained it carelessly. The roof threatened to collapse, the floors were rough to walk upon. His neighbors warned him of the dangers and the unattractiveness of his house, but he angrily refused to listen because it was not only a house, it was also his ego-trip. It was his house, and he had made it. Whenever anybody said anything against the house, he took it as if that man was against him.
This is how mind reacts.
Finally getting tired of unwanted advice, he placed plugs in his ears. The warnings continued, but now the carpenter only smiled, not hearing a word. Inevitably, one day his house collapsed. Fortunately the man escaped with only minor injuries. His neighbors scolded. They said, “See? We warned you. You are punished by your own stubbornness.” The carpenter just smiled pleasantly; he still wore his ear-plugs. Incredibly, in spite of the disaster, the carpenter went right back to the same foolishness.
Ego is very stubborn. Even if you feel that you have committed a mistake, you don’t realize it. You try to rationalize in a thousand and one ways, to defend, to prove that it is not a mistake. And you again do it, hoping that this time everything is going to be okay. This is hoping against hope.
Incredibly, in spite of the disaster, the carpenter went right back to the same foolishness – he built and lived in another hazardous house. He was again warned, but never changed his perilous way. That was because he had, by this time, taken his ear-plugs as both a normal and an easy way of life.