The next morning he was a totally different man. People who had known him for his whole life could not recognize him. He sewed the piece of paper in his coat and carried it the whole of his, life. Sometimes, suddenly he would look, read the lines and his face would again become radiant; again he would remember. Even the remembrance of that experience would bring the experience again to him. It was a deep inner orgasm.
Let me repeat: God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob – God of very simple men, ordinary men: Abraham, Isaac, Jacob; God of Jesus, not of the philosophers – not of Hegel, Kant and Schopenhauer; God of very ordinary people: of Kabir, of Meera – not of Radhakrishna, not of philosophers. Then, it is a fire in which you are burnt completely, in which you disappear and only God remains.
Whenever the real God is faced, you disappear. There is a Jewish saying: Nobody can see the living God. True, absolutely true. Nobody has ever seen the living God, because before you open your eyes, you are gone. It is fire. It burns you utterly and there is no coming back. It is the point of no return. Remember that whenever Jesus talks about God, he talks about this fire.
So, the God can be approached in two ways. In suffering, in old age, on the death-bed, you can take sannyas, as it has been done in India for centuries. When you are dying, the life is slipping out of your hands and you cannot cling anymore; in that impotence you say, “I renounce.” Just look at the absurdity of it: when life is renouncing you, you go on playing the ego game; you say, “I renounce.” Wait a minute more; life is renouncing you itself. You are already being carried towards the rubbish heap!
It is said that one day Diogenes and Alexander went out of the town for a morning walk. They came across a cemetery and Diogenes started looking at the skulls and the bones, and there was a big heap. Alexander was disgusted and he said, “What are you doing?”
He said, “I am looking for your father’s skull. He was such a great emperor, your father. Come please, because I cannot recognize which one is your father’s skull. You may be able to recognize it because he was your father. And don’t feel so disgusted, because sooner or later we will be on this heap also, and nobody will be able to recognize! Remember Alexander, nobody will even be able to recognize who was who.”
When you are on your death-bed, just being carried toward the grave, then you start thinking of God. You have missed the opportunity. When you were young, you had something to offer to him. Now you have nothing; you are a wasted opportunity. You are already empty, hollow. Now there is nothing to give to him. How can you offer yourself to him? – you have nothing to offer. The song that you could have sung, you never sang; the dance that could have been your life, you missed; the flower that could have been offered to him, you never helped it to open. In fact, you did all that was just the contrary, just the opposite of it. And then you think of renouncing, and then you think of God, and then you think of prayer. When the heart is already dead, you think of prayer….