They are sitting on the bank of a lake. He says, “I will make my house on this side of the lake and you make your house on the other side of the lake. Once in a while, walking, perhaps we may meet. Once in a while, perhaps I may knock on your door or you may knock on my door. Once in a while, perhaps I am in a boat and you are also in a boat, and we meet on the lake.
But it always has to be without any prearrangement. It has not to be a dating. I will never inform you that I am coming; you will never inform me that you are coming. I will marry you on this condition only. For a few days we may not be able to see each other. You will never ask me, ‘Where have you been?’ I will never ask you where you have been. We will never interfere in each other’s freedom. We will remain as strangers, as we are now.”
The woman said, “Then what is the purpose of marriage?” Naturally she cannot understand what the purpose of the marriage is.
The purpose of marriage is to be in each other’s head twenty-four hours a day. The purpose of marriage is to destroy each other in the name of love: to nag, harass, fight. The man is suggesting exactly the right thing: “It will be a great joy suddenly seeing you on the lake. I will not be expecting it. Unexpectedly, I will find you in the jungle by the side of the lake.” Just to think of that unexpected moment, is relating. There is no relationship.
He cannot send a message: “You have to come tonight because you are my wife, otherwise I am going to court.” In fact the husband cannot say to the wife, “Sleep in the other room.” That is enough to create trouble. The wife cannot say to the husband, “You cannot sleep in my bed.” That is enough for trouble, because we have completely forgotten a simple thing: our aloneness. And we are trying to forget it as much as possible – the very idea should be dropped. Aloneness is a natural phenomenon. And there is nothing painful about it. When you know it, it is the greatest bliss.
The function of the commune is to give you the space, to give you the understanding, to give you the feel of aloneness, and the experience of relating without getting into relationship.