We become aware of beauty when we see a flower, we become aware of beauty when we see the setting sun – but are we aware of the beauty which is not dependent on objects, which is direct and pure beauty? No, we have not known such beauty. All our experiences are other-oriented, and we are the sum total of these experiences.
So do we have our own existence, our own individuality, or are we only a collection, the sum total of a few experiences which depend on others? If flowers don’t bloom, beauty vanishes for us. If there are no objects, our knowledge vanishes. If there is no beloved, love vanishes for us.
Whatsoever we have, we have received it from others. Our existence is borrowed. That is why we stand begging before others our whole life – because we are afraid all the time that if others refuse to sustain us, we will slip away and disappear.
When your beloved dies you are not pained because of his or her death, you are pained because it is the death of your own love; you have never known a love which is there even without the beloved. When you lose wealth the pain is not due to this loss, it is due to the fact that along with the wealth your reality as a rich man is going. If you take away the scriptures of a learned man, you are not only taking away the scriptures, along with it his very knowledge is going. That’s why a pundit, a scholar, values his books more than his head, he values the book above his own existence – he bows down to his scriptures. If his foot happens to touch the book, he is scared. If his knowledge is so dependent on this book, this is not knowledge.
So the first thing is: all our experiences are borrowed – we ourselves are borrowed. If our every experience is taken away from us we would vanish like a machine whose every part is separated and removed. A machine is nothing but the sum total of its parts. And he who is only such a collection will not be able to know the soul which is the ultimate freedom.
Try to understand this knowing which the sage calls brahmagyan.
The first thing is that it is not dependent on the other, on the object, on some thing. When knowledge depends on an object it is a relationship, when it does not depend on the object it is a state of being. Try to understand the difference between a state of being and a relationship.
You say, “I love you.” Now, this love will disappear if you are not there because this love is a relationship, it needs two entities; a relationship is between two entities. If one of the two is removed, then the relationship also disappears. You cannot build a bridge using just one bank of a river, the other bank is also needed. The bridge is a relationship between the two banks.