But this is the situation. Whether you are ill or healthy is not the question, the difference is only of degree – but this remains the problem deep inside: yes and no, both.
You love a person? – yes, and deep down is hidden the no. Sooner or later when you get bored and fed up with the yes, the no will come up and you will hate the person, the same person you loved. You like something but the dislike is hidden; sooner or later you will dislike this same thing.
You were mad when you loved, when you liked; and you will be mad when you hate and dislike. As you are – yes and no, both – how can you move towards the divine? The divine needs total commitment, nothing less will do. But how to commit totally? – you are not a total being! This is the mountain.
The path is easy, but you are not on the path; and all the techniques, all the methods in the world, and all the masters, to be exact, they don’t give you the path – the path already exists. Their methods and techniques simply lead you towards the path; They are not paths. They create small pathways on the mountain so you can go beyond – because the path is there; there is no need to create a path, it already exists. But you are lost in a forest. You have to be brought to the path.
So the first thing is: the more divided you are, the farther away from the Way you will be; the more undivided, the nearer the path.
Thoughts divide because they always carry the opposite within them: love carries hate, friendship carries enmity, liking carries disliking. Sosan is right when he says: “A slight distinction between like and dislike, a slight movement in your being of like and dislike, and heaven and earth are set apart.” No distinction – and you have reached, because with no distinction you are one.
So the first thing to remember is how to drop thoughts and become thoughtless – thoughtless but alert, because in deep sleep also you become thoughtless, and that won’t do. It is good for the body, that is why after a deep sleep your body feels rejuvenated. But the mind remains tired even in the morning, because the mind continues its activity. The body relaxes, though it too cannot relax totally because of the mind; but still, it relaxes. So in the morning the body is okay, at least workably okay – but the mind feels tired, even in the morning. You go to bed tired, you get up in the morning more tired because the mind was continuously working, dreaming, thinking, planning, desiring; the mind was continuously working.
In deep sleep for a few moments when you are absolutely unconscious you become one. This same oneness is needed with a conscious and alert mind. As you are in deep sleep – no thought, no distinction of good and bad, heaven and hell, God and the Devil, no distinction of any sort, you simply are, but unconscious – this has to be attained while you are alert and conscious. Samadhi, the final, the ultimate, the utter meditation, is nothing but deep sleep with full consciousness.