I feel I have to take it on trust that I am doing things totally, because I am always doubtful about that.
No, just trust, because that doubt is useless. Do whatsoever you can – whether it is total or not, who knows? Just go on doing – and the more you do, the more total it will become. It is never total in a sense because more is always possible. You could have done more – but don’t make it a problem.
All my friends seem so surrendered and I feel so rebellious! After the last darshan when you told me what to do, I just spent the whole time saying, “No, I’m not going to do any of that.” Also, with the meditations in the camp, I like the dynamic a lot, it’s very powerful for me, but I hate it early in the morning, getting up that early. It just wipes me out for the rest of the day.
It always happens that you hate the same thing that you love. The morning is not the question…whenever you love something, you hate it too. You will find excuses as to why you hate, but they are not relevant, mm?
For every love we have to pay. If you love it, you have to continue in the morning…
And never let your hate decide anything. Knowing well there is hate, always let love decide. I’m not saying suppress, no; but never let it decide. Let it be there, let it have a secondary place. Accept it, but never let it be decisive.
Neglect it and it dies of its own accord. Pay more attention to love, and just let love decide. Sooner or later, love will take possession of your whole being, and there will be no place left for hate.
There is an anecdote about one mystic woman’s life, Rabiya-al-Adabiya. She was a Mohammedan mystic and one of the greatest women ever. In the Koran there is a sentence saying, hate the Devil and love God. Rabiya crossed it out, corrected the Koran – which no Mohammedan can even think of; it would be a sacrilege.
Another mystic once came to stay with Rabiya. He asked for a copy of the Koran for his morning prayers, and Rabiya gave him her own copy. When he came across the correction he was mad. He said, “Who has destroyed your Koran. Haven’t you looked inside it? Somebody has corrected it! This is not possible; Mohammed’s word cannot be corrected!”
Mohammedans believe Mohammed is the last prophet. They call him the seal of the prophets: now there is no longer a possibility of any new prophecy, he is the last of the prophets. There have been others before him, but there will be no more after him – the last message from God has arrived.