Divine discontentment has a totally different flavor. It is not ordinary discontentment; it is asking, it is praying to existence, “You are giving me so much. I am grateful on the one hand, and on the other hand I feel that I am not worthy of it. You should make me worthy also. My discontentment is about my worth, not about your gift.” When it is about the gift, it is an ordinary discontentment. When it is about your worth, then it takes a totally new dimension. It becomes divine.
You say, I remember once a friend said, “If you think this is it, you can be sure it is not.” Do you know if your friend has got it? You should have asked him, “What about you? Do you have it? If you say you have it, you don’t have it. If you say you don’t have it, you don’t have any right to say such a statement.”
You simply accepted a statement which can be made only by an enlightened man – not by any ordinary friend. He must have read it in some book. If you meet him again, ask, “Have you got it?” and listen to his answer. In every way he is going to be wrong. If he says yes, he has not got it. If he says no, then you can say, “If you have not got it, how do you know? On what authority can you make this statement, that if you think this is it, you can be sure it is not.”
Look at it from the other side: if you are sure it is not, do you think you have got it? The people who have got it don’t say that they have got it. They don’t say they have not got it either; they simply smile at the mystery of the experience, that it cannot be expressed as yes or as no. It is beyond the duality of yes and no, beyond the positive and the negative.
So if you use the positive you are wrong, and if you use the negative you are wrong still. Only silence is something which is beyond both – or a smile, or a laughter, which does not say yes, which does not say no, but expresses absolutely that you have got it. Your radiant face, your eyes, your grace – let them say that you have got it. Don’t use words.
There are limits beyond which any word is meaningless. And don’t listen to the advice of friends who are simply knowledgeable, because I cannot think you have found a friend who is enlightened. He is simply repeating verbatim from a Zen master whose statement this is, and you accepted it.
Never accept anybody’s knowledge. It is going to disturb your own progress. “This pushes me on,” you say, “to inquire more deeply. Laughter helps to move beyond tension, and with divine discontent I just need to remember to laugh at myself.” You know what you need: “just to remember to laugh at myself.” Then why don’t you do it? You know the answer.
But the friend has disturbed you. Always remember, advice is the only thing in the world that is given freely by everybody and is not accepted by anybody. The whole day people are giving advice, knowing perfectly well that nobody is going to accept it and also knowing that they don’t follow their own advice either. But a few people get caught into it, and then they make an unnecessary mess.
Avoid advice. You are right on the path; you are meditating. Just remember one thing, that whatever is coming to you is more than you deserve. And remember to laugh.