It is a long, long habit – just a habit. You are there; you can turn in. But turning in seems to be difficult because your neck has become paralyzed. For how many lives have you remained in this forgetfulness? Now, suddenly, you want to remember.
At the most, for one or two seconds you can remember; again you will forget. But those one or two seconds open the doors of hope. Don’t be worried: if you can remember only for a single moment, that’s enough, the key is with you. You are never given more than a single moment at a single time; you are never given two moments together. If you can remember for a single moment that’s enough, the key is there; now you can work it out. After this moment is gone another moment will be given to you, and you know how to be alert, aware, in a single moment – be alert and aware in that.
Remember, you will forget many times, but don’t feel repentant. Otherwise one starts feeling guilty and creating complexities which don’t help, which in reality hinder. If you forget, so what. For millions of lives you have been forgetting – accept it. And the moment you remember that you have forgotten, it is good that you have remembered again. Remember, you will forget again. When you forget, forget, when you remember, remember, but don’t make much of a problem out of it. Slowly, remembering more and more, by and by, gradually, the forgetfulness, the habit, will be broken.
Mrs McMahon went berserk one afternoon. She broke every dish and cup and reduced her usually spotless kitchen to shambles. The police arrived and took her to the city’s mental institution.
The head psychiatrist sent for her husband.
“Do you know any reason,” asked the shrink, “why your wife should suddenly lose her mind?”
“I am just as surprised as you are,” answered Mr McMahon. “I can’t imagine what got into her. She has always been such a quiet, hard-working woman. Why, she has not been out of the kitchen in twenty years!”
How many lives have you not been out of the kitchen? How many lives have you remained in a state of forgetfulness, in a state of unconsciousness? Now, suddenly, you try to be aware – the weight of the past is too much, the chains of the past are too heavy. But they will be broken; all that is needed is perseverance and patience.
And you have to be very, very intelligent about it. Otherwise, my observation is, people try to remember and when they cannot they start feeling very guilty. That too is part of your habit: if you cannot do something you immediately start feeling guilty. And if you feel guilty it will be more difficult to remember. If you feel frustrated; sooner or later you will stop the very effort of remembering.