I’m just beginning to feel that I have many things to work on. Could you suggest something to help me?
Everybody has much work to do because nobody comes perfect, and once you do become perfect, then you cannot come back. Much work has to be done and it is difficult, but not impossible. Sometimes you may feel it is so difficult that you begin feeling hopeless. Those are the moments to remember that the project is very difficult – Project Man is very difficult – but not impossible.
And it is good that it is difficult. If it were not, then it wouldn’t be worthwhile. If inner growth is easily available, cheap, if you don’t have to work for it, earn it or become worthy of it, then it will be worthless. The more difficult it is, the more worth it has. The longer the journey, the deeper the rest. And when you reach the goal, the longer the waiting has been, the more fulfillment you will find.
That’s why all shortcuts are false – and dangerous. They can only delude you. There is no shortcut for inner growth, because the very way and the very difficulty of it is part of the growth. If you avoid the difficulty, you avoid the growth also.
But many things are going to happen. You just have to remain available. Start meditating, and while meditating bring your total energy to it. Don’t go on withholding anything, don’t be clever.
That is one of the troubles, because the mind is very clever. It always goes halfway and keeps one step ready to withdraw if things go beyond control and you cannot manipulate. But if you are ready to withdraw one step you cannot go in, because one has to go with both legs, not only with one; and one can only go totally, not partially.
So remember one thing: that meditation has to be done as totally as possible, and every day more and more totality will become available. You will find every day that more and more is coming up, and you will see that you are still holding – and by and by the ice melts. So go totally into it.