In fact, all this effort keeps them awake. But these are the suggestions of so-called wise people, who are all around, ready to give advice like, “Repeat the name of God.” That will keep you awake! The only thing that can bring sleep is to forget all about it – do something else, anything will do. Just lying down, what is the harm? Have a good rest, why be worried about sleep? And when you are at ease, with no worry, no chanting, no mantra, no God – you are just resting – you will find slowly, slowly sleep is coming, enveloping you. You will not know when you have fallen asleep.
Do you know exactly at what time you enter from waking into sleep? You have been sleeping every day for your whole life, but do you remember, any night, even a single time, the exact moment when you entered into sleep? Even if you look at your watch, sleep will be gone. That much effort on your part is enough to disturb it. Sleep comes only when you have completely forgotten about it.
And this is a vicious circle: people who are suffering from sleeplessness cannot forget it for a single moment, and that creates sleeplessness. And the more they are suffering from sleeplessness, the more difficult it becomes for sleep to come.
There are many things in life which need absolute relaxation on your part. They will come when the right moment is there, and the right moment means when you have forgotten them completely.
It happens often that you remember somebody – seeing him, you know him, you know his name, it is just on the tip of your tongue. But why is it not coming out? The more you try…
It becomes a very weird experience – you know, you perfectly know, you are absolutely certain that you know the name, you know the person. There is not the slightest doubt in you, but somehow it is stuck just on the tongue – it does not come out. It becomes a very strange feeling.
And then you start doing something else. How long can you go on sitting with this strange, weird feeling? You just go in the garden, start digging a hole, planting a tree, or pruning the trees…and suddenly it is there. When you had forgotten completely to remember it, it suddenly comes – surfaces to your consciousness. But it surfaces only when you have forgotten to remember it.
These eight months you must have been trying hard to feel me inside you. In the first place, there was no need. You have to feel yourself; that is the basic thing that you have not done. You don’t know your own inside – how can you feel me inside you?
Just first do the homework: feel yourself, your interiority, your inner being. And the moment you feel your inner being, you will be so overwhelmed with joy, relaxation, at ease, that there is a possibility you may feel me also within you. You may feel stars, you may feel the sun, you may feel the whole existence within you. But first, feel your within.
Let me say it this way: If you can feel your within, the without also comes within. You become so expansive, your consciousness becomes so vast, it spreads all over existence. It is one of the most beautiful, most blissful experiences.