So let this numbness be there. It will go by itself after these groups and this camp. When you feel energy flowing again – without any work – and you are happy, then I will tell you to move into work. Then it will never be a repetition; something new will always be coming out of your flexible being. Otherwise, if it is an occupation and one is just hiding oneself in it, then it becomes a repetitive thing, a mechanical thing. It is more like an obsession, you are possessed by a demon, and that’s not good.
So just wait, and enjoy numbness too!
It is hard to surrender! I realize that my mind is saying no, and my heart is saying yes. There is a lot of confusion.
Listen to the heart – the head is not going to lead you anywhere. The head and heart are always in conflict. But it depends on you – if you listen to the heart, the head cannot do anything. In fact it is not a question of the head – you go on listening and cooperating with the head. Why not cooperate with the heart?
Could I join the music group?
It would be good, but before, join the heart! Otherwise music won’t happen. All music is of the heart. The head can only make noise, not music. The head is a marketplace…the heart is the shrine of being. All that is beautiful and true arises out of the heart, never out of the head. Out of the head comes the Hiroshima, Nagasaki – destruction. Creativity comes out of the heart. So first cooperate with the heart so you become capable of participating in music. That’s the only way – the way goes through the heart. Then music can become prayerfulness, music can become meditation.