Paddy is obsessed by golf – it has become his only topic of conversation.
Maureen is slowly going bananas with the constant discussion of birdies, drivers and sand traps, of his golf clubs, his caddies and his scores.
Finally at dinner she snaps, “I am tired of you talking about golf twenty-four hours a day! I don’t want to hear about it at this meal!”
“But what shall I talk about then?” asks Paddy.
“About anything,” says Maureen. “Talk about sex for goodness’ sake!”
“Okay,” says Paddy, “I wonder who my caddie is screwing these days?”
After the prison riot, the head warden calls the three ringleaders into his office and says, “Now then, I would like to know two things: First, why did you revolt? And second, how did you get out of your cell?”
One of the men steps forward and says, “Warden, we rebelled because the prison food is so awful.”
“I see,” replies the warden. “And the cell, what did you use to break the bars?”
The prisoner steps back in disgust and says, “This morning’s toast!”