This creates great fear in the child. His whole being wants to assert its potentiality. He wants to be himself because other than that he cannot see any meaning in life. Other than that, he will never be happy, joyous, fulfilled, contented. He will never feel at ease, he will always be in a split. A part, the most intrinsic part of his being, will always feel hungry, thirsty, unfulfilled, incomplete.
But the forces are too big and to fight against them is too risky. Naturally every child, slowly slowly, starts learning to defend himself, to protect himself. He closes all the doors of his being. He does not expose himself to anybody, he simply starts pretending. He starts being an actor. He acts according to the orders given to him. Doubts arise in him, he represses them. His nature wants to assert itself, he represses it. His intelligence wants to say, “This is not right, what are you doing?” – he drops being intelligent. It is safer to be retarded, it is safer to be unintelligent.
Anything that brings you in conflict with the vested interests is dangerous. And to open yourself, even to people who are very close, is risky.
Machiavelli, one of the most intelligent persons who has ever walked on the earth – but who misused his intelligence, misused his genius – says in his masterpiece, The Prince, “Don’t say anything, even to your friend, unless you are willing to say it to your enemy; because nobody knows…tomorrow the friend can turn into your enemy. Never say anything against the enemy that you are not ready to say against the friend; because who knows?…tomorrow the enemy may become your friend. Then you will feel embarrassed. So be alert and cautious, take every step thinking of all the pros and cons.”
But this kind of life cannot be a joyous life; it will be cunning, it will be clever. It may achieve comfortable living, luxurious living, it may become successful in the world, but it will not achieve any at-easeness. It will not find any peace with existence, with oneself. Deep down there will remain the child – crushed, crippled, doing everything against his will.
It is a coincidence that one of Machiavelli’s descendants is my sannyasin. Machiavelli would have tossed and turned in his grave! He could not have ever thought that his children would, at some time, become sannyasins, meditators. He was teaching people to be cunning.
From all the royal families of Europe, princes were sent to learn diplomacy – in other words, hypocrisy, in other words politics, the ability to commit crimes without being caught. And he was teaching these people; only princes were his disciples. He was earning enough, and when these princes became kings in their own right he thought that it was time he should become a prime minister – because almost all the kings of Europe were his disciples and none could refuse.