But it needs courage to declare to the world, “You think I have succeeded? That is an outward interpretation of my state. My inner experience is, ‘Nothing fails like success.’ But all of our societies have been teaching you to succeed, to have a strong willpower, because, “Wherever there is will, there is a way.” You will find the way, but those ways lead nowhere; they are dead-end streets. And meanwhile, your life is slipping from your hands.
But willpower has been supported by thousands of thinkers and philosophers without ever going into the inner reality of it. To will means you are not satisfied with yourself. It means you are not fulfilled, something more is needed, that you are not at ease. You have to go somewhere, you have to become someone. The very existence of will is against your being – it degrades your being into becoming. Then there is search and then there is longing, and naturally you will find a way, just to go away from yourself.
But this is not the right thing to do – this is suicidal; you are committing suicide. The farther you go on that way of the will, the more you will find yourself lost. This has happened to almost the whole of humanity – they have forgotten who they are. They have gone so far away from themselves that they have forgotten their home.
Drop the will, and immediately that way disappears like a dream. It has no reality of its own. The will gives its power to the way, it creates the way.
So the proverb is right, but those who follow it are wrong. One need not have any will, and one need not have any way. Then sit inside your home and play a bamboo flute. There is no need to go anywhere because you are already there, where you would really like to be.
Tears gently falling in rivers down my face…just so tired of trying, struggling, fighting to be what I think I should be in order to get what I think I need. Beloved, even with you I tried so hard. In this giving up…the gap, the beauty, the unknown…fears meet trust. Osho, could it be that this river is flowing towards life, towards you, towards the ocean? Thank you, Osho.
Do you see? “Tears gently falling in rivers down my face…just so tired of trying, struggling, fighting to be what I think I should be in order to get what I think I need. Beloved, even with you I tried so hard.” This is the way of the will. It simply goes on destroying you.
In the old days there used to be a proverb, “All roads lead to Rome.” But in fact, all roads lead to death. And perhaps Rome is the graveyard of the whole world.
Just the other day I heard that one of the archbishops is hiding in the Vatican, because the Vatican is an independent country – just eight square miles – and the Italian police are after him because he has been deceiving the Vatican and the Italian government. He is the treasurer of the pope, and the pope is protecting him. The Italian police cannot enter into the Vatican.