You have to understand one thing very clearly: there are things which you cannot do, but which happen. If somebody says to you, “love me”…now, love cannot be commanded, love cannot be ordered, and if – according to the order and according to the commandment – you make an effort to love, it is going to be phony; it cannot be an authentic reality.
What is arising in your being is thrilling your heart. It will find its own way to happen – in a dance, in a song, or in just deep silence which is not negative, but immensely full…in some creativity, or anything that you do – your being will find its way to do it in a new way that you have never done before, with great love.
You are not supposed to find expression for your experiences and the secrets that are arising in your being. They are far bigger than you; you cannot manage them. You are left far behind; those secrets, those answers happen only when you are not. Who is going to express them? Neither are there words to express, nor is there a person to express them. Now the experience itself will find its way, just as the rivers find their way to the ocean, just as roots find their way rising into trees and blossoming into flowers.
Looking at the roots and the flowers you may not see any connection at all – roots are ugly, and the flowers are so beautiful – but all the juice and all the color and all the beauty and all the fragrance that the flower has, have been given by the roots. The roots have been carrying those flowers for years in their womb. The seeds are never beautiful, but they can give birth to great beauty. You just wait….
I can understand your impatience, because you are too full and you want to shower just like a rain cloud, but it is not within your capacity. Neither have you found it, nor is it in your hands to express it. On the contrary, it will be right to say it has found you. And now it will find its way in some creative act, in some loving act, in something that indicates that it is not coming from the mind. You have given it birth just as a woman gives birth to a child. She does not create it; it grows of its own accord, and a day comes when it comes out of the womb.
Every meditator has to remember it: One day you will be pregnant with God – whether you are man or woman does not matter – and the unknown will find its way. You are simply to relax and follow it.
You are not to become a guide, but you have to be guided by it. You have to become just a shadow. It becomes the reality and you become the shadow, and wherever the reality moves, the shadow moves. This is the experience everybody else is waiting here for. And the same question will be asked by many, sometime or other.
It is good that you have asked it, because it is not only your question, it is going to be the question of many. Those who can be patient enough, those who can wait for the divine to take shape in their being, will have the same question, exactly in the same words.