It is a misunderstanding on your part, Ravindra, that a sadness arises from deep within. It is not sadness, it is simply a deep silence. Your whole being as if comes to a stop when you see a beautiful sunset or a sunrise. Time stops, mind stops – and those are the things you are accustomed to, and this silence of the heart, this new space of which you are not aware, in the beginning always looks like sadness. It needs a little more acquaintance with it and you will be surprised: it is not sadness, it is silence.
You can experiment: just sit silently and somebody is going to ask you, “Why are you looking so sad?” Silence is not a value accepted by the society.
Since my childhood, I have been sitting silently. By and by the members of my family became accustomed to it, but in the beginning they used to say, “Why are you looking so sad? Why don’t you go out and play?” And when I said, “I have gone in and I am playing” they simply thought that something was wrong with my mind. People go out to play and this fellow goes in to play!
Just look at the silence that surrounds a calm and cool lake, the silent waters. In the beginning it will look like the lake is sad, because you are accustomed to noise. If there is no noise, you will feel at a loss – what has happened?
I have heard a story, I don’t know whether it is true or not. It has to be true.
Long ago, when humanity was not such a big crowd of five billion people, they decided: let us see what happens if one particular day everybody laughs loudly, dances and jumps for no reason at all. The whole world at a certain moment decided it was worth experimenting to see what happens.
And what happened was very shocking, because everybody thought, “When there will be so much noise and laughter and dancing and singing, it is better to remain silent and watch and enjoy the whole thing.” But everybody thought the same way. Mind functions the same way. For those five minutes that were chosen for rejoicing, shouting, jumping – whatever you wanted to do to express your joy – the whole world fell completely silent. They could not believe…what has gone wrong?
Nothing has gone wrong; it is the same mind. Everybody thought, “Let us watch it. It is going to be great entertainment. If you become a participant you will not be able to enjoy all kinds of things that will be happening all around.” But what came to their mind was that because everything stopped – there was such silence, as there has never been. But everybody said, “It looked so sad.” Nobody could look deeper, into the phenomenon of silence.
You say, “I feel sad whenever I see the sun setting.” You feel silent. You will have to learn a new language.
Spirituality is a new language. You will have to change the meanings of words, the nuances of words. Give them new flavors and new fragrance, because they have been used in the marketplace. They are perfectly good in the marketplace but when you are entering into the beauty of existence, you cannot carry the same language.