It is irrelevant how it happened: there is no need to go into the past. I am telling you this is the foundation of Eastern esoteric psychology, that a man, whatsoever he is, has continuously to decide to be that way – only then can he remain that way.
It is like pedaling a cycle. You are pedaling a bicycle – you have pedaled for miles, but if you want to continue the journey you have to go on pedaling. If you stop pedaling, the bicycle is going to stop. Maybe through past momentum it may go on a little, a furlong or two at the most. But it is going to stop. And there is no need to go into research on how you started pedaling in the first place, because that is an absurd research. You cannot go into that, because go on and on and you cannot find the beginning. The past is eternity; you cannot find the beginning, and the whole search will stop your growth.
I tell you: you just stop pedaling, and the bicycle is going to stop. If you are negative, you are pedaling negativity continuously. If you take the decision just this moment not to pedal any more…your mother, or God – nobody is there to prevent you. It is your decision. But if you don’t want to take the decision, then you can find a thousand and one excuses. Freud gives you a very wonderful excuse, very scientific-looking. But don’t be deceived by the appearance. Freud has created a new myth. It is not science yet; in fact, the science of human consciousness is impossible, because the science is possible only in the world of cause and effect. And human consciousness is freedom; it has no cause and effect chain – science cannot be created in it.
Religion is not science; it cannot be. More or less, religion is an art. It has no causality in it. So if you feel negative, that means somehow or other, knowingly or unknowingly, you have invested much in your negativity. Now you want to cling to it; you don’t want to drop it. If you are miserly, you want to cling to it; you don’t want to drop it. See the point. If you want to drop it, I say to you, “Immediately! This very moment!” Nobody is blocking the path. But you don’t want to drop it; and you don’t want to realize the fact that you don’t want. Then you play a trick. You say, “I want to drop it, but how can? My mother gave me the whole negative attitude towards life.” So you hate yourself for being negative, and you hate your mother because she has made you that way. Nobody has made you that way, nobody is responsible.
Don’t play these games. You are responsible. It may look like a burden I am putting on you. But if you look deeply, you will feel that this is the only possibility for your freedom. If you are responsible, only then can you be free. If others are responsible, how can you be free? If you are “caused,” you are “caused” by others; then you can never be free, then you are just like a rock.