But don’t leave the room just because someone else tells you all this, otherwise you will keep wandering, you will keep coming back to the same room again and again. Even if you don’t come back physically your mind will come back, your thinking processes will come back, your thoughts will come back, your dreams will come back. It makes no difference whether you sit with a woman with your eyes open or shut. What difference does it make if you count real money or imaginary coins? It makes no difference. Wealth as such is mere imagination. Apparently real coins, those that jingle when you throw them down on a stone, are just as imaginary as the ones you count with your eyes shut. Both are figments of the imagination. But it cannot become a fiction to you just because I say so. Experiences cannot be borrowed.
I understand your difficulty. You say: “The thirst doesn’t arise and my doors don’t open.” You are looking for a borrowed experience. Avoid borrowing. It is the borrowing that has destroyed you. It is this borrowing that has led you astray for so long. Now, stop borrowing. Now, if you feel that there is some happiness in this world, then try your utmost for it. Try for it – with your whole body, mind and soul. Don’t leave a single stone unturned – because it is the untried that will torment you, it is the untried that will pursue you. The world itself doesn’t pursue you, but those corners in the world that you have not entered, those corners that are unlived, unvisited, are the ones that pursue you. You are free from what you have known. You remain tied to the unknown.
So come down a few steps. If the thirst doesn’t arise in you, why try to awaken it? You might still be thirsty for the world. Both thirsts cannot exist together. Until you have a thirst for the unreal there cannot be a thirst for the real in you. Until you are interested in drinking untruth, there can be no interest in drinking the truth. There is still interest in the unreal, there is still interest in egoism. Egoism means the false. Right now you want position, prestige, the throne – you have an interest in your egoism. Go through these pleasures. And there is nothing to be afraid of, because these pleasures are not really there. The cat is not in the room. That’s why I say to search with courage, to search in every nook and corner. Search inch by inch.
Your so-called saints are tremendously afraid. Your so-called saints also seem to have borrowed everything. They say to you, “Don’t go into the world, you will become entangled.” I say to you: Go! How can you become entangled? What is there to entangle you? Yes, if you don’t go totally, then you will remain entangled. Then your mind will always say, “If only I had gone! Perhaps I would have found it…who knows? Some parts have remained unknown, the treasure might just be there, that might be exactly the place – and I missed!” How can you be absolutely sure that there was no truth there, that there was nothing but falsehood, that there was only delusion there?
So I say to you: Go. Go where your interest takes you. Don’t try to convert your interest. The interest must be there somewhere. There is no one who doesn’t have an interest somewhere. Such a person couldn’t live, not even for one moment. Why should a person who has no interest anywhere want to continue breathing? Why should he get up in the morning again and again? Why should he walk anywhere? Why should he open his eyes? A man who has no interests at all will be dead in that same moment, in that very moment! There is no way for him to live even a moment longer. If the desire to live goes, then life also goes.