A man of understanding hesitates. He does not know what will happen to his words. What you will do out of his words is unknown, and each single word can become very, very meaningful to you, or a meaningful effort on your part. He hesitates, he watches you, he looks all around, he tries to find your center of being, then he says something. So that it never becomes a misunderstanding, so that it doesn’t misguide you, so that if his words can help it is okay and they don’t prove harmful to you – he hesitates. But a man of borrowed knowledge never hesitates. He is very, very certain. Just go and listen to Christian missionaries: they seem to be so certain that their certainty says they are stupid. Why this certainty? And they don’t know anything, they have been trained – trained for everything.
I used to visit a theological college, a Christian theological college. I used to watch how they prepare priests and ministers, and I was amazed – the whole thing seems to be so stupid. Even gestures are practiced: how to stand on the pulpit, what to say, how to say it; when to raise your voice high, and when to whisper; and how to raise your hand, when to raise it exactly – everything is trained. They look like actors. And they don’t know anything, but they never hesitate because they have been trained. Training cannot make you religious, discipline cannot make you religious, learning cannot make you religious. You can become an actor, you may become a very skilled actor. You may become so skilled that not only do you deceive others, but you yourself are also deceived.
If you ask psychoanalysts they have an answer: a man who feels himself hesitant within will always create a certainty outside. He is afraid of his own inner uncertainty, so he clings to certain statements. A man who is certain within doesn’t bother: he can hesitate, he can afford to hesitate, there is no fear. He can say, “Perhaps”; there is no need to be certain. He can say, “God is summer and winter; God is night and day; God is satiety and hunger; God is both rest and restlessness” – he can be paradoxical. The paradox is used just to give you a feeling that the man is not claiming anything, he is simply trying to say the fact. And if the fact is complex, let it be so. If the fact is contradictory, let the statement also be contradictory – let it be a true reflection. You cannot ask a man of learning to be so paradoxical – God is summer and winter – no. He is absolutely certain of what God is: God is day, never night; God is light, never darkness; God is good, never bad; God is peace, never war. When God is both war and peace, where are you? You become uncertain, you hesitate.
I have searched myself.
That’s why he is so paradoxical. Always look for the paradox. You will always find it if a man has searched himself, because then what can he do? If existence is paradoxical, what can he do? – he has to represent it as it is. But go to a missionary – he has never searched. He has learnt much, he can quote scriptures. In fact, he cannot do anything other than quote scriptures. And you know very well that the devil is very skilled in quoting scriptures – he is the perfect missionary.
When some visitors
unexpectedly found Heraclitus
warming himself by the cooking fire,
he said to them:
Here, too, are the gods.