There is already someone sitting before Osho as everyone arrives in the room. Osho greets everyone and then continues to talk with the woman about the problem she is facing in her relationship.
Now a few things have to be understood, mm? No relationship can be secure. It is not the nature of relationships to be secure. And if any relationship is secure, it will lose all attraction.
So this is a problem for the mind. If you want to enjoy a relationship, it has to be insecure. If you make it completely secure, absolutely secure, then you cannot enjoy it – it loses all charm, all attraction. The mind cannot be satisfied either with this or with that, so it is always in conflict and chaos. It wants a relationship which is alive and secure. This is impossible, because an alive person or an alive relationship or anything which is alive, has to be unpredictable. What is going to happen in the next moment cannot be forecast. And because it is unpredictable, this moment becomes intense.
You have to live this moment as totally as possible because the next moment may not come ever. You may not be there, the other may not be there. Or you may both be there, but the relationship is not. All possibilities remain open. The future remains always open. The past is always closed, the future is always open. And in between the two is the present, a single moment of present, always trembling, shaking.
But this is how life is. The shaking and the trembling are part of being alive – the hesitation, the cloudiness, the vagueness. The past is closed. Everything has happened and now nothing can be changed, so everything is absolutely closed. The future is absolutely open, nothing can be predicted. And between the two is the present, with one step in the past, one in the future. So the mind always remains in a dichotomy, in a divided state. It is always split, it is always schizophrenic.
The understanding that is needed is that this is how things are and nothing can be done about it. If you want to have a very secure relationship, then you will have to love a dead man; but then you will not enjoy it. That’s what happens to a lover when he becomes a husband: a husband is a dead lover, a wife is a dead lover. The past has become all, and now the past decides the future.
In fact if you are a wife you don’t have a future; only the past will go on repeating itself, all the doors are closed. If you are a husband then you don’t have a future; then you are confined, in an imprisonment.
So security is sought continuously but when you find it, you get fed up with it. Look at the faces of husbands and wives. They have found the security, the much sought-after security, and now everything is in their bank balance; and the law and the court and the constable are all there to make everything secure. But now the whole charm, the whole poetry, is lost; romance is no longer there. Now they are dead people, they are simply repeating the past; they live in memories.