Now, there are two possibilities: either you call him “he,” or you call him “she” – both have been used. Sufis call him “she”: the beloved, the feminine. Christians, Jews call him “he”: the male, the lover. These are the two possibilities, it depends on you. Both have different qualities. The moment you call him “he,” it means you need not go in search of him; he will come, he’s the male. And that is the beauty of it: the woman can wait, and the lover will come.
Jews say: You are not only in search of God, God is searching for you. That’s the beauty of the pronoun he. These are symbolic, significant, can be of tremendous value. Jews say: He is searching for you; you can wait like a woman, you can become a tremendous awaiting, just an opening, ready to receive the guest. And the guest is coming, because the male comes in search of the female.
Sufis call him “she”; then the whole journey changes. Then you have to seek him, then you have to find him. Of course, the journey becomes more difficult. If you have to seek God, it seems almost impossible that you will succeed. Where will you seek him? – the address is not known. Even if he comes by you will not be able to recognize him, he will be such a stranger. You have never cognized him, so how will you re-cognize him? You have never seen him before, so how are you going to decide, “Yes, here is God”? It is going to be difficult. And where will you go? – to Kashi, to Mathura, to Mecca, to Jerusalem? Where will you go? – to the Himalayas? Where will you go? How will you move? What will your direction be? From the very beginning there will be confusion.
It is better to wait than to go in search of him. It is better to wait and trust and pray, and let him come to you. That is the meaning of calling him “he” – that he can come. You become the feminine, then he becomes the male – and the play starts. If you become the male, of course then it is your responsibility to seek him. The Sufi goes to God; for the Jew, God comes to him; for the Hassid, God comes to him.
Now it is for you to decide. I am not saying to call him “he”; it is for you to decide. It appears to me that “he” is more economical, more clever. But if you belong to the women’s lib movement you can call him “she” – but then you have to understand the implications of it. It is not only a question of grammar, not only a question of philology, language; it is taking a certain attitude. By calling him “he,” you declare yourself a woman: with that, it is a totally different endeavor. By calling him “she,” you call yourself a man. Man is aggressive. If you call him “she” you will become aggressive, you will start conquering God. Then God will have to surrender to you. How can you surrender to God? – then you will be too much in your male-aggressive mind.
But if you call him “he,” you have to surrender to him. He has to come and defeat you, and make you victorious in your defeat. He has to come and overpower you and flood you and destroy you, annihilate you – and recreate you.
My feeling is still this: call him “he.” You will be benefited, you will be blessed.
And the second question is also there in the first question: