They knocked on the door, they went in and they asked, “What has happened to you? Why are you crying like a child?”
He said, “Now that I have succeeded, I know it has been a failure. Now I know that I stand in exactly the same place as I used to be in when I started this nonsense of conquering the world. And the point has become clear to me now because there is no other world to conquer anymore – otherwise I could have remained on the journey, I could have started conquering another world. Now there is no other world to conquer, now there is nothing else to do, and suddenly I am thrown to myself.”
A successful man is always thrown to himself in the end and then he suffers tortures of hell because he wasted his whole life. He searched and searched, he staked everything that he had, now he is successful – and his heart is empty and his soul is meaningless and there is no fragrance, there is no benediction.
So the first thing is to know exactly what you are seeking. I insist upon it, because the more you focus your eyes on the object of your search, the more the object starts disappearing. When your eyes are absolutely fixed, suddenly there is nothing to seek; immediately your eyes start turning towards yourself. When there is no object for search, when all objects have disappeared, there is emptiness. In that emptiness is conversion, turning in. You suddenly start looking at yourself. Now there is nothing to seek, and a new desire arises to know who is this seeker.
If there is something to seek, you are a worldly man; if there is nothing to seek, and the question “Who is this seeker?” has become important to you, then you are a religious man. This is the way I define the worldly and the religious.
If you are still seeking something – maybe in the other life, on the other shore, in heaven, in paradise, in moksha, it makes no difference – you are still a worldly man. If all seeking has stopped and you have suddenly become aware that now there is only one thing to know – “Who is this seeker in me? What is this energy that wants to seek? Who am I?” – then there is a transformation. All values suddenly change. You start moving inwards.
Then Rabia is no longer sitting on the road searching for a needle that is lost somewhere in the darkness of one’s own inner soul. Once you have started moving inwards…. In the beginning it is very dark – Rabia is right. It is very, very dark because for lives together you have never been inside, your eyes have been focused on the outside world.