Missionaries are murderers. All social reformers are dangerous. And people who are seeking service can be very, very violent, aggressive. They are. If you are in the grip of a good man it is very difficult to escape. You are imprisoned – and he is doing everything for your sake. And whatsoever he is doing, he is trying to find a way through you to his own heaven. You are just the means. And this is the most immoral act in the world, to treat a man as a means. I call it the most immoral act, the greatest sin, to treat a man as a means. Every man is an end in himself.
Share if you can share, but don’t try to transform anybody. Who are you to transform? Who are you to change somebody? Who has given you the right? Help if you can, but don’t make this help a means. Otherwise, in the name of religion also you will remain the same calculating, cunning, clever person, exploiting people, because of your selfishness. So this is one meaning of selfishness and unselfishness – on the surface.
But real selfishness is when there is no self. Working for your own self is selfishness, working for others’ selves is unselfishness. But behind both the self is present, so they are two branches of the same tree, not very different; the innermost core remains the same. Real selfishness means no-selfness; then whatsoever you do, whether the world calls it selfishness or the world calls it unselfishness, it doesn’t matter – it comes out of a no-self, unmotivated. The distinction is subtle.
Selfishness is a motivated action: you want something for yourself. Unselfishness is again motivated: you want something for the other, and through the other, deep down, you want something for yourself; via the other the same motive moves. Real selfishness remains the same, the form differs.
To me selflessness is the real thing. You must come to understand the state of your being as no-self. Then prayer is there but it comes from a no-self, unmotivated. Then you don’t calculate and count; then you enjoy it and celebrate it. Then love comes unmotivated, it flows spontaneously for no reason at all – you cannot help it. It is there. It is natural.
When the self is absent then everything becomes unselfish; it cannot be otherwise. Otherwise, you can go on doing things: they will remain the same, the quality will not change, and you will always feel something missing. You can do prayer for years and you will feel something missing. You can love many people and you will feel something missing. You will remain like a wedding party where the guests have arrived, and the feast is ready and the musicians are playing, and much singing and everybody is ready, but the bridegroom is missing. You will be like a wedding ceremony where the bridegroom is missing.
If the self remains you will always miss something; whatsoever you do you will miss something. Once the self is not there the bridegroom has arrived. Now whatsoever you do will be a feast, whatsoever you do will be a celebration.
Die first as you are so that the divine can be born in you.
Right are the Sufis when they say:
You cannot achieve anything until you die.
Enough for today.