I feel so imprisoned by the fear of being intimate and totally losing control with a man. This outrageous woman is locked up inside. When she comes out once in a while, men usually freak out, so she goes back into hibernation, plays safe, and is totally frustrated. Could you please talk about this fear of intimacy?
Shantam Lani, mankind, especially womankind, suffers from many sicknesses. Up to now all the so-called civilizations and cultures have been psychologically sick. They have never dared even to recognize their sickness; and the first step of treatment is to recognize that you are sick. The relationship between man and woman has been especially unnatural.
A few facts have to be remembered. Firstly, man has the capacity for only one orgasm; woman has the capacity for multiple orgasms. This has created a tremendous problem. There would not have been any problem if marriage and monogamy had not been imposed on them; it seems it was not the intention of nature. The man becomes afraid of the woman for the simple reason that if he triggers one orgasm in her, then she is ready for at least half a dozen more orgasms – and he is incapable of satisfying her.
The way that man has found is: don’t give the woman even one orgasm. Even take away from her the conception that she can have an orgasm.
Secondly, man’s sex is local, genital. The same is not the case with woman. Her sexuality, her sensuality is spread all over her body. It takes a longer time for her to warm up, and before she even gets warmed up, the man is finished. He turns his back towards her and starts snoring. For thousands of years, millions of women around the world have lived and died without knowing the greatest natural gift – of orgasmic joy. It was a protection for man’s ego. The woman needs a long foreplay so that her whole body starts tingling with sensuality, but then there is the danger – what to do with her capacity for multiple orgasm?
Looked at scientifically, either sex should not be taken so seriously and friends should be invited to give the woman her whole range of orgasms, or some scientific vibrator should be used. But with both there are problems. If you use scientific vibrators, they can give as many orgasms as the woman is capable of; but once a woman has known…then the man’s organ looks so poor that she may choose a scientific instrument, a vibrator, rather than a boyfriend. If you allow a few friends to join you, then it becomes a social scandal – that you are indulging in orgies.
So the simplest way man has found is that the woman should not even move while he is making love to her; she should remain almost like a corpse. And man’s ejaculation is quick – two minutes, three minutes at the most; by that time the woman is not at all aware of what she has missed.
As far as biological reproduction is concerned, orgasm is not a necessity. But as far as spiritual growth is concerned, orgasm is a necessity.