I have had a strong feeling of sex and death over the last few weeks.
Is it necessary that I understand why?
It is always necessary to understand how your mind is functioning, how your heart is doing, what is happening to your interior world. Trying to understand it will give you a certain distance from those things, and an awareness that they may be there but you are not identified with them. That is the great alchemy of understanding.
Try to understand everything within yourself.
In the very fact that you are trying to understand, you become separate from it; it becomes an object. And you can never become an object, you are always the subject; it is not possible to change your subjectivity into an object. So that gives a good distance between you and your feelings, whatever they are. That is one thing.
The second thing: this distance will give you a possibility of understanding what is happening to you.
Nothing happens without any cause. And sometimes there are things which are very fundamental. For example, the question is one of the most fundamental questions – the connection between sex and death. And if you can see it clearly, slowly the distance between death and sex will disappear and they will become almost one energy.
Perhaps sex is death in installments.
And death is sex wholesale.
But there is certainly one energy functioning at both corners. Sex is the beginning of life, and death is the end of the same life; so they are the two ends of one energy, two poles of one energy. They cannot be unconnected.
There is only one living being, the amoeba, which has no sex life; but then it has no death either. It can go on living for millions of years; it dies only accidentally. Death is not intrinsic, because there is no intrinsic sex. The way the amoeba recreates itself is very strange: it simply goes on eating, becoming bigger and bigger. And there is a certain limit at which it cannot go on becoming bigger; then it splits in two. That is the way amoebas go on growing. Both will go on living, giving birth in the same way, but there is nothing like sex in that life.
The point to note is, there is not any natural death either. They can live, given the opportunity, forever.