Never enforce any celibacy on yourself. Try to understand what sexuality is, go deep into it. It has a tremendous beauty of its own. It is one of the profoundest mysteries of life. Life comes out of it – it has to be a great mystery. Sex is not sin; repression is a sin. Sex is very natural, very spontaneous. You have not done anything to have it, it is inborn, it is part of your being. Don’t condemn it, don’t judge it, don’t fear it, don’t fight with it. Simply go into it more – more meditatively. Let it happen in such silence, in such deep acceptance, that you can know the very core of it. The moment you penetrate to the very core of sexual orgasm, by and by you will see sex is losing its appeal for you, your energy is moving in a higher plane, you are becoming more loving and less sexual. And this happens spontaneously.
I am not saying become more loving. I am saying that if you go deep into the mystery of sex, love arises out of it naturally. You become more loving and sexuality becomes less and less and less. And one day there is just a pure flame of love, all the smoke of sex has disappeared. The crude energy of sex has been transformed into a more subtle perfume – the perfume of love.
Then I will say go deep into love. If you go deep into love, again you will come to the very core of it. And in that moment prayerfulness will arise. That too happens spontaneously. In sex you are more concerned with the body; in love you are more concerned with the psyche; in prayerfulness you suddenly become concerned with the soul. These are the three possibilities hidden in the seed of sex. And when sex has disappeared into love and love has disappeared into prayerfulness, there is a spontaneous celibacy.
The Indian term for it is very beautiful. It is brahmacharya. The word literally means “living like a god”. Brahmacharya means living like a god. The whole energy is just prayerfulness, the whole energy is just a grace, a gratitude, a benediction. One becomes absolutely divine.
But I am not saying that sex is not divine: it is the seed. Love is the tree, prayerfulness is the flowering. Prayerfulness arises out of sex energy. You have to be grateful towards it, you have to respect it. Sex should be respected because everything is going to happen out of it. Life has happened out of it; death is going to happen out of it; love, prayerfulness and godliness are going to happen out of it. Sex carries the whole blueprint of your destiny. To me, sex is not just sex, sex is all.
So if from the very beginning you take an ‘anti’ attitude you will be missing the whole journey of life. And you will get involved in such a fight which leads nowhere, you will get involved in a fight in which your defeat is certain. You cannot defeat sexual energy because in sexual energy godliness is hidden, in sexual energy love and prayerfulness are hidden. How can you defeat it? You are very tiny and sexual energy is very universal. This whole existence is full of sexual energy.
But the word sex has become so condemned. It has to be taken out of the mud. It has to be cleaned. A temple has to be made around it. And remember, celibacy can only be spontaneous, there is no other type of celibacy. It is not a control, it is not a discipline; it is a tremendous understanding of your own energies and their possibilities.
The fourth question: