Once this energy is undivided, it goes on accumulating. You are producing it every day, life energy is produced in you, but you are wasting it in fight. This same energy comes to a point where it becomes awareness – this is automatic. Tantra says, this is automatic. Once you know how to be whole, you will become more and more aware, and the day will come when your total energy will be transformed into awareness.
When the energy is transformed into awareness many things happen, because then the energy cannot move to sex. When it can move to a higher dimension, it will not move to a lower dimension. Your energy goes on moving to the lower dimension because there is no higher for you. And you do not have the level of energy where it can move into the higher, so it moves into sex. It moves into sex and you become afraid of it, so you create the ideal of brahmacharya and you become divided. Then you become less and less energetic. You are wasting energy!
This is a very potent experience – that when you are weak you feel more sexual. This looks absolutely absurd in biological terms, because biology will say that when you are more potent you will feel more sexual. But this is not the case. When you are weak, ill, you will feel more sexual. When you are healthy and a subtle well-being is there, you will not feel so sexual.
And the quality of sex will also be different. When you are weak, the sexuality will be a sort of disease and a vicious circle will be created. Through sex you will become more weak, and the more weak you become the more sexual you will feel. And the sex will become cerebral; it will move into your head.
When you are healthy, when a well-being is there, when you feel blissful, relaxed, you are not so sexual. Then even if sex happens, it is not a disease. Rather, it is an overflowing. A totally different quality is there. When sex is an overflowing, it is just love expressing itself through bioenergy. It is creating a deep sharing, a deep contact through bioenergy. It is a part of love.
When you are weak and sex is not overflowing it is a violence against yourself, and when it is a violence against yourself it is never love. A weak person can have sex, but his sex is never love. It is more or less rape – and rape to both the parties; to himself also it is a rape. But then a vicious circle is created: the more weak he feels, the more sexual he feels.
But why does this happen? Biology has no explanation for it, but Tantra has an explanation. Tantra says that sex is an antidote against death. Sex is an antidote against death! Sex means life for society. You may die, but life will continue. So whenever you feel weak, death is near, Tantra says that then sex will become very important because you may die at any moment. Your energy layer has gone down. You may die at any moment, so indulge in sex so someone can live. Life should go on.
For Tantra, old men are more sexual than young men. And this is a very deep insight. Young men are more sexually potent, but not so sexual; old men are less sexually potent, but more sexual. So if we can enter an old man’s mind, then we can know what is happening.