Sex and death are deeply related in another sense too. In a deep sex act you feel a certain death: you are no longer. If you have really gone totally into the act, you are merged. Your individual entity disappears and a greater force than you takes over. The sex act starts as a voluntary act, but it never ends as a voluntary act. A point comes where your voluntary mechanism is taken over by the non-voluntary. A point comes where your conscious mind is thrown off and the unconscious takes over. A point comes when your ego cannot exist and the non-ego is in power, in control. You feel a sudden death of the ego; you feel you are dying.
That’s why people who are very egoistic cannot achieve sexual orgasm. They cannot be in a let-go, they cannot allow their unconscious to take over. They remain mentally conscious and try to control the whole process. Then, they cannot achieve a deep sexual orgasm. The more civilized man becomes, the less possibility there is of orgasm. The blissful moment when your ego is lost and you are merged into existence is a certain death: death of the ego, death of the conscious, death of your individuality.
That’s why those who are afraid of sex will be afraid of death, and those who are afraid of death will be afraid of sex. This fear: “I may be lost. How am I to be certain that I will be capable of coming back?” It is uncertain. Who knows whether you will come back or whether you will go on and on, and disappear completely?
The same fear comes in meditation. It is again going to be a deep orgasm, similar in many ways to a sexual orgasm – in a sense, exactly the same.
Now, modern psychology, particularly Jung’s psychology, has come to discover a concept, a very old tantric concept. Tantra says that every man and woman is two, bi-sexual. No man is simply man: he is, in a way, woman also. And no woman is simply woman: deep down, there is a man hidden. So every individual, man or woman, is bi-sexual. The other is hidden beneath.
In deep meditation, a sexual orgasm happens – not with someone outside you, but with your own polar opposite within. You meet there: your woman and your man meet. The meeting is spiritual, not bodily. They penetrate each other, yin and yang. They penetrate each other, they become one, they merge.
Meditation is a deep sexual orgasm between your own two polar opposites. The same fear comes again. If you move deeply into meditation, one day, sooner or later, you will come to know: “Now the last moment has come. Death is going to occur: now I will die.” Fear will grip you. In that fear, you may come back. If you come back, you will have missed a great opportunity. It comes only rarely, very rarely. Lives and lives pass before this rare moment comes when you start feeling a deep orgasm within. The inner woman and the inner man are meeting, your two polar opposites are penetrating each other, becoming one. You are at the moment when you can become whole. But there will be fear, because the ego will be lost. You as you know yourself, the image, will be lost. You will die, something else will emerge. A new being, not related at all with the old one, discontinuous with the old one, will be there. But you will die, with all your past. Fear comes.